off with your sandals

poem - 'spring'

2012-01-20T11:13:00.002-05:00

Spring

when you breathe in and all you get is air
when life brings hope rather than despair
when you look around, finding things to share
when fear is real, but doesn’t keep you scared
when joy comes in and stops being rare
when truth sheds light and makes you aware
when steps lead you up, like taking the stairs
when caring matters and you can’t help but care
when winter’s gone and spring is everywhere

poem - 'for a new day'

2011-12-31T19:33:00.005-05:00

for a new day

to watch a bird’s first flight

to laugh with sheer delight

to grasp measures of grace

to find a hiding place

to sing life’s quiet song

to live the whole day long

to rest in pastures green

to trust in the unseen

to run and, yes, to stumble

to know and greet the humble

to love and sacrifice

to pay an honest price

to wash each other’s feet

to bless each one we meet

to care for those who mourn

to take heed not to scorn

to share; to best provide

to walk side by side

to grasp all that we know

to give so we can grow

poem - 'this is home'

2011-11-16T19:40:00.000-05:00

'this is home'

- written nov.15/2011

this is a call, cry, voice, plea

my petition and my decree

this is the voice in my head

and the heart on my sleeve

its the Love that i seek

and the way that i’m weak

and the ways i don’t know

and the tantrums i throw

this is a song, life, gift, dream

my path, my eyes, my fidelity

where my cup overflows

where a heart’s beauty shows

where the lost find a home

and a truth clearly shown

welcomed in, unprepared

you meet Love, aren’t scared

this is a fire, light, joy, fear

my hope, my heart, my darling, my dear.

this is the way we cry

this is to no goodbyes

this is for questioning why

this is the reasons we lie

this is a plan to be free

this is a joy, plain to see

this is home.

lamb talk

2011-11-10T09:33:00.000-05:00

I want to be able to say "for eternity all my heart will give all the glory to Your name"... and I think eternity, for me, has to start now.

'you hold me now.' & 'no hiding'.

My favourite new thought is not really a new thought but one as old as I am. My name, Rachel, means innocent lamb. If you've met me, initially, a gentle lamb may not be the first thing that comes to mind. I've said before, and it's true, if I'm dishonest enough with myself, I consider myself a pretty strong person. Ha. The truest, most honest part of me is as gentle and innocent as a lamb. This "Rachel" doesn't plan ahead, won't run ahead - is eager to listen, learn and be loved. I've been encouraged recently (and throughout my life) to embrace the 'heart' I've been given and "let theory fall away". Don't get clouded, don't plan in expectation of having things in control... be led.

"He gathers the lambs in His arms, and carries them close to his heart" -- the closest I am to a lamb... the closer I am to His heart. The closer I am to His heart, the less I can hide of my own brokenness, the most honest I am.

'Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.' Let's think about this. How can what is happening on earth be "as it is" in heaven? Jesus made it possible. God's grace and surpassing goodness reached out. His nature is such that we are, in our brokenness, beautiful and able to be redeemed by Jesus' sacrifice.

Psalm 113:5-8

"Who is like the Lord our God, Who has His seat on high,

Who humbles Himself to regard the heavens and the earth!

[The Lord] raises the poor out of the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap and the dung hill,

That He may seat them with princes, even with the princes of His people."

It is the majesty and compassion combo of God that baffles me. To truly believe that He is King and Lord of all, and then to also believe that He touched the brokenness in those who he met on the streets of Jerusalem, the bleeding, the blind, the beggar, the forgotten. He touched them. He restored heaven to them.

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You Hold Me Now - hillsong

on the day when I see
all that You have for me
when I see you face to face
there surrounded by Your grace

all my fears swept away
in the light of your embrace
where your love is all i need
and forever i am free

where the streets are made of gold
in your presence ...
let this song of heaven rise
to You alone

no weeping, no hurt or pain,
no suffering, you hold me now
you hold me now
no dark, no sin or pain
no hiding, you hold me now
you hold me now

in this life i will stand
through my joy and my pain
knowing there's a greater day
there's a hope that never fails

where your name is lifted high
and forever praises rise
for the glory of Your name

where the wars and violence cease
all creation lives in peace
let this song of heaven rise
to you alone

for eternity all my heart
will give all the glory
to Your Name

Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven

an appeal to court (vs dating)

2011-10-17T23:52:00.001-04:00

courting or dating? this conversation is always an interesting one. one of the first times i heard both sides 'defended' was at a church youth service as a teenager. my dad was the speaker who had a panel of . perhaps surprisingly (considering the topic and stereotypical stance of teenage daughter vs father), i sided with my dad. shocking? let's get this started right.......

rachel's disclaimer: i'm no expert here (on courting or dating); i'm simply voicing my thoughts on the subject. a few friends had a chat the other day about it and i thought i'd continue the conversation here. i'm not pointing fingers at people who are dating/have dated or who are courting/have courted to say they are superstars or fools. honest!! (in fact, i know a couple couples who just started dating and i support them.)

that said, allow me to trek through some treacherous terrain here.

here's where i'm coming from: a good friend of mine told me this Spring that they didn't know how i would ever decide that someone was safe/right enough to date. i believe the direct quote was: "i think when you are ready to date someone, you'll be ready to marry them"*. that same friend said the way he made his mind up about dating someone was that he would date her if he was interested enough in them to see if there was 'anything there'.

* no doubt there are challenges to my supposed style of 'engagement', however, i haven't married a fool yet.... so i think i may be on the right track.

back to my observant friend-- i'm not saying his attitude towards dating is wrong. don't get the wrong idea, he is by no means reckless in his dating ways... i'm just pointing out the difference between my standoffish style and his daring-to-date demeanour.

courting adjourned? - before we get all excited about jumping on the courting train, maybe we should ask an important question: is courting a thing of the past? i mean, it is a thing of the past... since it's been around for a while (see 'Rules of Courtly Love': http://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/rules_of_love.html)... but is it reasonable to think it happens these days?

let's define 'courting', shall we? it's synonyms are 'woo, pursue, chase'. def'n: 'to seek the favour, affection, or love of, especially with a view to marriage'. alright, i mean... maybe this is where i show my true colours, but, as my good friend erika would say: "i'm just gonna put it out there"... if we're being honest, we love the chase, am i right? especially the chase that doesn't result in wasted energy, no? the end goal is not running wild through a field with our arms flailing, people.

i would say it is the purposefulness of courting i find so appealing. communication is upfront; intentions are clear. this doesn't mean the relationship is boring, of course, just... precise in its expectations of the course of the relationship. which is towards... marriage! it may play out as meeting intentionally in certain settings, with different people, to get to know each other. and then, in the event that one or both of you does not see it proceeding in that direction, the intentional time together simply stops.

a matter of tact! - furthermore, for courting to be successful, i think both people have to know themselves well, and be honest with themselves. (this is where some might argue that dating is beneficial: in the earlier years... you learn so much about yourself and others when you date people.)

the hardest part of the dating situations i've witnessed, is that there's a sometimes long period of dating that resembles engagement. people are just gettin' right in there, committing themselves, meshing their lives, and that gets confusing for everyone. everybody's hopes are up (in and surrounding the supposedly blossoming relationship). this makes the 'break up' scenario difficult, and sometimes avoided when it should be embraced (to put it lightly). people get stuck... i've seen it. when the situation has become complex and, in the end, the result can be heart-breaking.

i think dating, in these cases, sets up people to lose-- where attachment meets routine in the worst way. "just go with it, see how it plays out...", "you don't want to hurt him..."... so tricky, i totally get it. all i'm saying is, courting provides a clear way out because you were committed to finding out whether the 'two of you' worked. it's a bit "business", but i'd argue it gets the job done, y'know?

so, what's the verdict? there are some of you who are reading this who might think "your definition of courting is my definition of dating". pa-tay-toe/pa-tah-toe. hakuna matata. all that. that's cool... we agree! others might be thinking "best of luck with your court-dates, rrrraaach!" and that's cool, too.

thanks for reading - happy dating/courting/daourting! ('cause everybody loves a good combo-pack!)

poem - 'with'

2011-10-15T20:25:00.002-04:00

with
by: Rachel Hainaut
written Nov.21/2010

with guilt i live closed in

with shame i feel exposed

with love i can succeed

with beauty, find a rose

with fear i lose myself

with light i lift from lows

with choice i’m given freedom

with flight i join the crows

with friendship there is sharing

with joy there is laughing

with pain there is learning

with truth there is growing

with voice there is giving

with sight there is leading

with touch there is reaching

with words there is meaning

with sorrow is found the broken

with building is found the brick

with faith is found the first step

with chase is found the quick

with tears is found the release

with magic is found the trick

with mercy is found the undeserved

with healing is found the sick

poem- 'broken'

2011-10-15T20:12:00.004-04:00

broken
by: Rachel Hainaut
written feb.4/2011

our world is broken

i mean, ripped apart and fallen

in a sad and twisted way

in a hurt others cause i’ve been hurt,

fall down, hit the dirt,

break down, hit the first

thing that cracks me,

irks me, disturbs me

our world is dark

the light doesn’t penetrate

it could, i mean, it does

it should and will because

the Light is greater still

then broken hearts and broken wills

then patterns of abuse

then poverty’s refuse

our world is ugly

not the created world,

not the beauty of one another

but the way we forget to be beautiful

the way we choose our nature

based on the hurt we’ve felt

the hand we’re dealt

it’s broken; it’s dark and ugly

you are not

we are not

bold, bleeding & believing

2011-10-15T14:04:00.003-04:00

this song came to mind today when i was reflecting on God's love for me as the Beloved.

today, i am looking at the passage in Luke 8:43-48. the story here is about a woman who has looked for healing everywhere and believes Jesus has the power to heal her. she believes so much that, in a crowded place, she reaches out to touch him and is healed.

(note: by Jewish law she ceremonially unclean. she wouldn't be welcome anywhere!)

then her act is acknowledged because Jesus knew the difference between her reaching and the crowds' pushing. One reason Dr Ralph Wilson suggests Jesus "exposed her secret" of silent healing is that Jesus is taking the first step in lifting the burden of uncleanness from her by accepting her publicly.

as i share with you, i feel like i am the woman in Luke 8:47,
47And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed.

i admire her. she's bold! she's elbowed her way through the crowd to get the healing she's needed for years. the most interesting part of the story to me is that she gets the healing and thinks she's outta there-- no 'thank you', no conversation with Jesus, nothing. it's Jesus that's immediately interested: "Who was it that touched me?"

i think we still feel the need to hide once we've received healing. shame is a powerful thing. is it that we don't believe we are truly forgiven? the woman in the story would have feared public shaming should the crowd have known her situation. her focus is on her identity as an unwell person (and one particular flaw that has kept her ostracized), not the miracle that has made her well.

"insert Rachel"-- a little shaky, to be honest. knowing and recognizing that i am not hidden from God... my weakness, darkness, loneliness, brokenness and failures are all exposed. yep, all of that and lots more. but, i'm forgiven. FOR-GI-VEN! there is no point getting stuck in the 'yes, but...' of limiting God's grace and mercy towards me by not believing when the reality is that i am free from those things. i can see my weakness, sin or anything else that makes me imperfect as the location in which God's grace and mercy collides with my need continues the process of making me whole.

read here "Bleeding & Believing" (author?)- a poem i was given by a dear friend years ago.

Once there was a wound

It was no ordinary wound

It was my wound

We had lived together long

I yearned to be free of this wound

I wanted the bleeding to stop

Yet if the truth be known

I felt a strange kind of gratitude for this wound

It had made me tremendously open to grace

vulnerable to God's mercy.

A beautiful believing in me that I have named Faith

kept growing, daring me, to reach for what i could not see

This wound had made me open.

I was ready for grace

And so one day, I reached.

That I was thick in the crowd bleeding and believing and I reached

At first I reached for what I could see; the fringe of a garment

But my reaching didn't stop there for Someone reached back into me

A grace I couldn't see flowed through me.

A power I didn't understand began to fill the depths of me.

Trembling, I was called forth to claim my wholeness

The bleeding had left me.

The believing remained.

And as strange as this may sound,

I have never lost my gratitude for the wound that made me so open to grace.

In his book Spiritual Direction, Henri Nouwen says:
"only by expressing our anger and resentment directly to God in prayer will we come to know the fullness of love and freedom. only by pouring out our story of fear rejection, hatred, and bitterness can we hope to be healed."

Psalm 138:3 -- "On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased."
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"psalm 139" - rebecca st james

you search me, you know me
you see my every move
there's nothing i could ever do
to hide myself from you
you know my thoughts
my fears and hurts
my weaknesses and pride
you know what i am going through
and how i feel inside
but, even though you know
you will always love me
even though you know
you'll never let me go
i don't deserve your love
but you give it freely
you will always love me
even though you know

---

* on the blogs with a song there is a link to the song via youtube- click on the blog title.

i'll wait

2011-06-01T18:29:00.006-04:00

i have experienced times of waiting in my life. wait to find out where God will leads my parents (again), wait to find out what effect the chemo will have on my friend's recovery, wait to see how God will redeem a difficult circumstance between friends.... wait, wait, wait. only recently have i recognized in myself that i have a hard time waiting. waiting can be scary.

healthy waiting involves surrender. waiting is active and shouldn't be something that halts you in doing everything else God is calling you to. surrendering the outcome of what you're waiting for allows you to do that. trust is a big factor here - believing God knows best, living in such a way that acknowledges God's awesome goodness and not in a state of fear that limits God's power in our minds and actions.

^{Psalm, Chapter 46}

¹GOD IS our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble. ²Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains be shaken into the midst of the seas, ^3though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling and tumult. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

some of my wisest friends are the ones that stop me in the middle of a panic and say: "this will be ok." though it may sound patronizing, i'm thankful for it and i recognize it as words that come from experiences where they have learned, "as certain as the dawn appears", our God is good and faithful. so, it's not time to dream bigger or make grander plans to overcome the current set-back, it's time to rest in the truth that He is providing and will continue to provide.

^{Isaiah, Chapter 35}
³ Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees. ⁴Say to those who have an anxious heart,
"Be strong; fear not!
Behold, your God
will come with vengeance,
with the recompense of God.
He will come and save you."
⁵ Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
and the ears of the deaf unstopped; ⁶ then shall the lame man leap like a deer,
and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.
For waters break forth in the wilderness,
and streams in the desert; ⁷ the burning sand shall become a pool,
and the thirsty ground springs of water;
in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down,
the grass shall become reeds and rushes...
⁹No lion shall be there,
nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it;
they shall not be found there,
but the redeemed shall walk there. ¹⁰ And the ransomed of the LORD shall return
and come to Zion with singing;
everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;
they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

dear God: help me sing for joy and rest in the truth of Your great faithfulness while i wait. continue to stir my heart and give me patience. remind me that You are the great Redeemer, the only Rock worth building my life on and a generous King who chose to love me. surround me and lift me up. in Jesus' name, amen.

^{Hebrews, Chapter 6}

¹⁹[Now] we have this [hope] as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whoever steps out upon it--a hope] that reaches farther and enters into [the very certainty of the Presence] within the veil, ²⁰where Jesus has entered in for us [in advance], a Forerunner having become a High Priest forever after the order (with the rank) of Melchizedek.

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you'll come - hillsong/brooke fraser

i have decided, i have resolved

to wait upon You, Lord

my Rock and Redeemer

Shield and Reward

i wait upon You, Lord

as surely as the sun will rise

You'll come to us

as certain as the dawn appears

You'll come

let Your glory fall

as You respond to us

Spirit reign,

flood into our thirsty hearts again

You'll come

we are not shaken, we are not moved

we wait upon you Lord

the mighty Deliverer

my Triumph and Truth

we wait upon you Lord

as surely as the sun will rise

You'll come to us

as certain as Your word endures

chains be broken

lives be healed

eyes be opened

Christ is revealed

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i am...thankful. awed. moved. satisfied. redeemed. forgiven. safe.

^{Luke, Chapter 1}

⁴⁶And Mary said, My soul magnifies and extols the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour...

alive to live [free]

2011-01-09T13:38:00.006-05:00

this is an encouraging song. feels a bit like a "reset button" for finding God's purpose moment by moment; freely choosing to live for God.

chains, nails, bonds, darkness, death cannot hold Almighty God. that is to say: nothing contains God. this is an important concept to grasp as one of Jesus' followers. the light entrusted to those who follow God in surrender and strive to follow Jesus' example (albeit in a broken, incomplete way). to this end, i see the following passage as somewhat of a direct job description of Jesus' followers as well as encouragement that we do not go at God's work alone, but in all humility and love.

Promise of Jesus: The Lord's Chosen Servant

Isaiah 42: 1-4, 6 & 7

Behold my servant, whom I uphold,

my chosen, in whom my soul delights;

I have put my Spirit upon him;

he will bring forth justice to the nations.

He will not cry aloud or life up his voice,

or make it heard in the street;

a bruised reed he will not break,

and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;

he will faithfully bring forth justice.

He will not grow faint or be discouraged

till he has established justice in the earth;

and the coastlands wait for his law.

Thus says God, the Lord:

"I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness

I will take you by the hand and keep you;

I will give you as a covenant for the people,

a light for the nations,

to open the eyes that are blind,

to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,

from the prison those who sit in darkness."

1 Peter 2: 16 "Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God"

New year, right? I feel convicted: "enough with being held back and hiding the light in me". I feel like I've been given a verse for this year in Joshua: 'be strong and courageous, do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go". that takes many shapes in my head. Some of those include: be honest about failure and fear, live righteously, seek God and live in a way that bestows grace and mercy to those who have been shown none, trust Him for hard things. So here's the plan:

Hosea 10: 12 "Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you"

God is good- remember that! it's key. He wants you to join into your life and change it. He wants to bring healing and restore life to the dead, dark and broken places of your heart.

Ephesians 2 "you were dead... BUT GOD... even when we were dead (in our trespasses) made us alive together with Christ--BY GRACE you have been saved--raised up in Him... seated with Him... so that He might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus."

My experience in the past has included somewhere in my heart, head, church or relationships it being said: you are not right for this... you'll never be enough for this. however, God is good and offers life to and restoration to broken hope and dreams. some of us need to hear God when He says: "Let no one disqualify you" (Colossians 2:18). live free!! know Who's in your corner and stop being afraid.

1 Peter 2:9 "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into marvelous light."

-----------------------------------------------

holding nothing back [jesus culture]

i am chosen I am free

i am living for eternity

free now forever

You picked me up, turned me around

set my feet on solid ground

Yours now forever

and nothing's gonna hold me back

my chains fell off, my heart was free

i'm alive to live for you

amazing love, how can it be?

You gave everything for me

Everything

You washed sin and shame away

the slate is clean, a brand new day

free now forever

now boldly I approach Your throne

to claim this crown,

through Christ, my own

Yours now forever

and nothing's gonna hold me back

now i'm free to live

free to give

free to be

i'm free to love You

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Ephesians 3:20 + 21 "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory...."

sound

2010-11-09T13:34:00.000-05:00

my life as a noise-maker-- I AM AN INSTRUMENT OF THE LIVING GOD.

when i think of a noise-maker... i think: obnoxious. it's only function is to frustrate.

when i think of a bell, perhaps a more sophisticated noise-maker, i think it's either time for dinner, time for church, or i'm being told the time. the first association comes from a conditioned response to a method my mom used throughout my childhood so that she wouldn't have to yell up or down many stairs in a semi-detached split-level house we lived in. the others, more normalized within the dominant North American culture, can be identified as the 'call to worship' from a church's steeple bells and also the bells at quarter to/past or on the hour ringing from a town's library, for example. in these examples and in many ways, a bell's purpose is to be obnoxious. that is, to cut through layers of silence, snap the unsuspecting victims out of routine to pay attention to their related message.

why are we talkin' bells here? well, i'm starting to think i have the role of a bell. my actions, my words, the things i do... they all touch others in some way. recently, i was thinking of the sound of a bell as it relates to worship. worship, as the living out of a life or in art or in song, is a sound, ringing out and reaching the Father's ears.

In 2nd Corinthians 2:15, the Bible says 'we are to God the aroma of Christ' in any of the places and among whomever we find ourselves. that's a cool, and more than slightly concerning, idea. more often then not, there's nothing about what i have to give that might be 'good'. since i believe the God of the universe is very interested in what i do, sing, say, and the way i live... composing some sort of unique "rachel" melodies... it's important to me that what He's listening to be a really sweet sound.

making noise in community-- ALL CREATION WILL SING: Hallelujah!

it's impossible to live and not have some sort of effect on others. everyone's got their own quirks and

"...God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved--and raised us with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus" - Eph 2:4,5

all kinds of noise-- WORSHIP IS EVERYTHING

Psalm 150:6 "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!"

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sweet, sweet sound

(by: sarah reeves)

i am an instrument of the Living God

my life a melody to His name

more than the songs i sing

worship is everything

i live to glorify my King

hear the song of my life

let it be a sweet, sweet sound

i raise this anthem high

let it be a sweet, sweet sound

through all the mire and clay

you're washing me with grace

you carry me, o Lord, through it all

so i will testify even in the fire

i live to praise my Saviour

let everything that has breath praise the Lord

and all creation will sing:

'hallelujah!'

greater, stronger, higher, healer...

2010-10-05T21:57:00.005-04:00

there was a night this summer that i felt terribly alone. i was afraid. i was being brave, of course, and didn't open my door to the hallway full of friends. mind you, this was past curfew, so no one should have been awake. however, i was awake. i started to write......

the words came and calmed my heart as I extolled my Heavenly Father for His unmatched goodness and faithfulness, strength and beauty. As I wrote, I was reminded that nothing can be too great a sin, a foothold, a burden, a lie, a fear or anything else... absolutely nothing could be too great for Him to overcome.

then I arrived back in Toronto and started a bible study with some of the most remarkable women I've known, and as we studied the week of/before Thanksgiving in the first chapter of Ephesians (vv.18-23)... I was brought back to the words written one dark, lonely night at camp....

"having the eyes of your hearts enlightened,that you may know (understand) what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power towards those who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named...."

this song rings true. when i sing it, i'm reminded of the great works Jesus performed on earth, the goodness of the Father who sent Him and the faithfulness of the Holy Spirit, who is the great Helper, and who walks our journey with us.

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Our God

(by: chris tomlin)

water you turned into wine

opened the eyes of the blind

there's no one like you

none like You

into the darkness you shine

out of the ashes we rise

there's no one like You

none like You

our God is greater

our God is stronger

God you are higher than any other

our God is healer

awesome in power

our God, our God

and if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

and if our God is with us, then what could stand against?

ever, only, all of me

2010-06-12T22:54:00.007-04:00

the scariest part of offering what you have to give is the great possibility that it will be rejected. you look to the right or left and see better gifts being offered. you know that your most sincere givings don't measure up. insecurity builds; you can't find a reason to try giving again. you can't remember why you tried in the first place.

sometimes i think worship comes as a declaration in response to the goodness and faithfulness of our Heavenly Father (Psalm 57:9-11). sometimes its in an act of obedience, bringing our gifts - big or very small - and laying them back down at His feet (Mark 12:42-44). a challenge for me is that it would be in our lives a prayer, asking to be Jesus' hands and feet to those who we know are hurting around us.

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Take My Life (and let it be) - Chris Tomlin

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee

Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy Love

Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee

Take my voice and let me sing, always only for my King

Take my lips and let them be, filled with messages from Thee

Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold

Take my intellect and use every power as you choose

Here am I, all of me

Take my life, it's all for Thee

Take my will and make it Thine; It shall be no longer mine

Take my heart, it is Thine own; It shall be Thy royal throne

Take my love, my Lord, I pour, at your feet its treasure store

Take myself and I will be ever only all for Thee

here comes the bride

2010-05-14T18:05:00.000-04:00

even the thought of a bride walking down the aisle gets me every time. gets me thinking, that is, and for good reason, about choice and love, promises and beauty. the beauty lies in the act of one person surrendering their right to pursue their own selfish goals and choosing sacrifice for the benefit of the other... 'as long as they both shall live'. it's promise is for forever. it's real. it's beautiful. it's really beautiful.

i was listening not long ago to a man speak about the choice we make for God when we choose to 'do life' with Him. when my choices become not only an inner dialogue but a group discussion. it includes being part of community and being accountable for my life's choices. he said that the real question Jesus is asking us as we journey through life is "will you marry me?". that is: will you, forsaking all others, love Me?

it's the 'forsaking all others' bit that I have trouble with when it comes to my relationship with Jesus. i love God, and with His loving kindness and faithfulness, it's not Him that makes it a difficult task. but, boy, do i love others. i thrive on the approval of those 'others' and am spurred on by the slightest inclination of "well done". these come in the form of a smile, nod, wink, high five, pat on the back, props*, laugh, direct verbal affirmation, an "i'll take that as a compliment" moment.... yep, gimme anything and i'll boast of it to myself. it's often in the words and encouragement or discouragement others that i choose to cling. it's the story i tell myself - 'they think you are so...' whatever it is.

Henri Nouwen says (Inner Voice of Love) "your inexhaustible need for affection is an addiction. stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self... let go of all these self-made props* and trust that God is enough for you".

God calls me away from the 'others' rat race i find myself caught up in. i'm beckoned to come, be welcomed in, stand before Him, and find myself in the Truth of His love for me.

Nouwen goes on to say: "you are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in [Him]... which requires the death of what has become so precious to you: influence, success, yes, even affection and praise".

maybe that's what's beautiful about a bride & groom - their relationship is a gift whereby God restores to them the Truth of who they are in the presence of their beloved. the truth of themselves as one who is loved. the new couple is choosing life together as a 'carrying out' of the Love poured on them by their Maker.

-----------------------------------------------------

My Beloved

(by:kari jobe)

you're my beloved, you're my bride

to sing over you is my delight

come away with me, my love

under my mercy come and wait

'til we are standing face to face

i see no stain on you, my child

you're beautiful to me

so beautiful to me

i sing over you my song of peace

cast all your cares down at my feet

come and find your rest in me

i'll breathe my life inside of you

i'll bear you up on eagle's wings

and hide you in the shadow of my strength

i'll take you to my quiet waters

i'll restore your soul

come rest in me and be made whole

---------------------------------------------------

Matthew 22:14

"Now go to the main roads & invite to the wedding feast as many as you can find"

only a child of God

2010-04-17T18:32:00.001-04:00

i've been thinking a lot about my 'Grandma' this week. i've often wondered what it's like to have lived so much life and have just so many stories and lessons to tell. use your pinky to remove the batter from the spoon, and enjoy afternoon tea in a tea cup! through her example, my grandmother has taught me that Jesus is trustworthy and faithful. she learned what she could do for Jesus and went alone to another country at a young age to fulfill what He would have her do. over 60 years later, the only response that counts is 'well done'.

thinking this week, i've found that it is in the image of someone becoming so weak, even to the point of death, i am reminded of the wreck i am without Jesus. i have to cling to the truth of who He can be in my life. i must believe His faithfulness endures when my mind can't fathom what good can come of a situation. i need to rest in the truth that i am carried by the Love of God for me.

the truth says "even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength" (isaiah). i don't think my Grandma will get better, but i know she will be renewed. she will have life... to its fullest. she will laugh, and dance, and sing.

i've found the "story" of Psalm 37 talking about 'a faithful servant' to be encouraging this week. i find joy in the truth saying those who find refuge in God will "delight themselves in abundant peace" (v.11)... and "their heritage will remain forever" (v.18). Truly God is faithful to those He loves. The psalmist recounts "i have been young... i have not seen the righteous forsaken... He is ever lending generosity" (v.25/6). God is so good.

we can let Him love us. we can give Him our burdens. we can be loved completely with perfect love. we can find rest and wholeness. we can be made new. we can have a Father that knows us fully. we can choose to know our King as a loving Father and surrender to the Love given to us.

when everything melts away, defences disappear and strength is gone - the result is i am only a child of God. i find my identity, my confidence and hope in that. it's all that matters, and it's everything.
-----------------------------------------------------
Child of God
(kathryn scott)

with every breath
with every thought
from what is seen
to the deepest part
i offer all that i've come to be
to know your love
Fathering me

Father, you're all I need
my soul's sufficiency
my strength when i am weak
the love that carries me
your arms enfold me
'til i am only
a child of God

with every step on this journey's walk
and wisdom songs that the soul has sought
i give myself unreservedly
to know your love
Fathering me

---------------------------------------------------

i find this to be an appropriate Scottish blessing to quote today:

" I arise today through a mighty strength: God's power to guide me, God's might to uphold me, God's eyes to watch over me, God's ear to hear me, God's word to give me speech, God's hand to guard me, God's way to lie before me, God's shield to shelter me, God's host to secure me."

spring sing

2010-04-06T11:53:00.003-04:00

my God reigns in power and is great beyond measure.

truthfully, there aren't many good things that 'free' and 'lead' us. many things keep us hidden, ashamed, fearful... we like to play it safe, stay quiet, to ourselves... when we were meant to live 'out loud' and give our best!

Psalm 13: 5 & 6

"But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

because he has dealt bountifully with me."

the Love that frees us

Jeremiah 31:3&4 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built. Again you shall adorn yourself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of the merrymakers!"

promises that He will "turn their mourning into joy" (Jer. 31:13)

the Life that leads us

God speaks to Jeremiah (15:19&20):

"If you return and give up this mistaken tone of distrust and despair,

then I will give you again a settled place of quiet and safety,

and you will be My minister... you shall be My mouthpiece.

I am with you to save and deliver you"

grateful that You hear us

Psalm 16:2

I say to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you."

Psalm 34:4

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

Matthew 18:20

"For wherever two or three are gathered (drawn together as My followers) in My name, the I AM in the midst of them."

===============================

Sing, Sing, Sing - Chris Tomlin

what's not to love about you?

heaven and earth adore you

kings and kingdoms bow down

Son of God, you are the One

we're living for

you are the love that frees us

you are the light that leads us

like a fire burning

Son of God, you are the One

we're living for

Sing, sing, sing

and make music with the heavens

sing, sing, sing

grateful that you hear us

when we shout your praise

lift high the name of Jesus

================================

two things

2010-03-22T22:37:00.002-04:00

You don't go far into the story of Jesus... y'know, the one where God comes to earth to die and save me... before you're stunned. It is completely amazing in itself as a story, but then the birds sing, the children laugh, the sun shines on the water and you lie on your back looking at the stars in a place where electricity is considered overrated.... and your amazement sinks in deep. This story of Love is breathtaking, when you stop to see it; when it reaches you.

It's one girl's story, but it is mine. There have been times, as I'm sure there'll be again, where I've found myself surrounded by overwhelming discouragement, in a busy life that clouds joy or keeps me from time to with my King to remember just who I am because of Who loves me. There's no one who loves me like Jesus does.

I've been learning that though things get complicated, there are really are only two really simple things that I need to know in my life. These are, first, that God Almighty is powerful beyond measure and, second, God loves me. God made a world and everything in it, put joy in our hearts and saved us with His Son, and gave us Truth... and that's the message He whispers to me: I'm everything you need.

Again: amazed. If God is powerful beyond measure, the art of trusting Him should become very simple. If God loves me, then who cares who doesn't?

-----------------------------------------------------

Your Love Is Strong
[Jon Foreman]

Heavenly Father, you always amaze me let Your kingdom come in my world and in my life
give me the food i need to live through the day
and forgive me as i forgive the people that wrong me
lead me far from temptation
deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window, the birds are composing
not a note is out of tune or out of place
i walk to the meadow and stare at the flowers
better dressed than any girl on her wedding day

so why should i worry? why do i freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is... Your love is... Your love is strong!

The kingdom of the heavens is now advancing
Invade my heart, invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens is buried treasure
would you sell yourself to buy the one you found?

two things you told me:
that you are strong and you love me
yes, you love me

Your love is... Your love is... Your love is strong!

[the Lord's prayer]

----------------------------------------------------

Psalm 23 (paraphrase: The Message)

'God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.

Even when the day goes through
Death Valley,
I'm not afraid
when you walk by my side.
Your trusty shepherd's crook
makes me feel secure.

You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.

rest assured

2010-01-14T16:20:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 51:9-16
Awake, awake, put on strength...
Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep,
who made the depths of the sea a way for the redeemed to pass over?
The ransomed of the Lord shall return and come... with singing.
Everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy,
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.
"I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies...
...and have forgotten the Lord, your Maker; I am the Lord you God... the Lord of hosts.
And I have put my words in your mouth
and covered you in the shadow of my hand,
establishing the heavens and laying the foundations of the earth,
and saying to Zion, 'You are my people.' "

---------------------------------------------------------

God has gone to amazing lengths to save the ones who are His own. It's amazing to claim God's gifts for us and bask in His goodness to us!

Imagine working with God like Moses did! After Moses has taken off his sandals and listened to the messages coming from none other than a burning bush... he's got his task... lead God's people in a mass exodus from Egypt! God wasn't interested in sitting back as His people suffered in slavery to the Egyptians. God speaks to His people through Moses: 'I am the Lord, and I will bring you out form under the burdens... I will deliver you from slavery... I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts... I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the Lord your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens...' (Exodus 6:6-7). God deals in liberation. He wins battles ("Jesus is da winna man", anyone?). He conquers all. He's our Protector.

God comes to our aid. We have just to seek Him out. Sit. Be still. Listen. Obey.

hide me... cover me... protect me... love me

The question is not "will He come?", but "have I stopped to invite Him to join me here?"...

Psalm 145:13-19 "The Lord is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works. The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing... The Lord is near to all who call on him... he also hears their cry and saves them."

rest, my soul

(GOD IS THE LOVE THAT WILL BRING REST)

Henri Nouwen, everybody...

"... stop wandering around. Instead, come home and trust that God will bring you what you need. Your whole life you have been running about, seeking the love you desire. Now it is time to end that search. Trust that God will give you that all-fulfilling love and will give it in a human way... Just stop running and start trusting and receiving."

- The Inner Voice of Love, pg.12

know His power in quietness and trust

Have you ever felt like you needed to defend someone who's going down with the ship and you know it's wrong? Sometimes when I'm in a situation like that I think, "This can't be happening... this isn't how it's supposed to go...". I'm rocked when I have just to believe that my God is bigger than whatever the situation!

Psalm 46:10-11 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

soar with You

We were created to be in community with God. Friends with Him. When we call to Him, we are giving up our oh-so-natural "I can do this" efforts and saying "I'll let you be God on this one. I need you to fill me, meet me, and work through me here" instead. God just knows better. We need him.

Also of note... who doesn't want to SOAR!? Just a small example of how His ways are so much greater than ours.

Beth Moore: "Why does God allow us to spend so much of life in the heat of battle? Because He never meant for us to sip His Spirit like a proper cup of tea. He meant for us to hold our sweating heads over the fountain and lap up His life with unquenchable thirst."

King over the flood (or the earthquake, or family falling apart, or being laid off work...)

This verse has been a comfort to me at camp for the last couple summers, in particular, where knowing that God's sovereign in His infinite wisdom and His promise of peace can satisfy.

Also, my dear friend Jacqueline shared this verse today in reference to the catastrophe in Haiti...

Isaiah 54:10

"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed,

but my steadfast love shall not depart form you,

and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,"

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

-----------------------------------------------------

Still (by: Reuben Morgan)

Hide me now under Your wings

Cover me within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father, You are King over the flood

I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul in Christ alone

Know His power in quietness and trust

surrender to Love

2009-12-31T16:34:00.000-05:00

don't forget to listen to the song! (click on the title.)

----------------------------------------------------------

Isaiah 61

"...bring good news to the poor... bind up the brokenhearted... proclaim liberty to the captives, the opening of the prison to those who are bound... to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor... to comfort all who mourn... to grant those who mourn [a beautiful headdress instead of ashes], the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit.

Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor, they shall rejoice in their lot... they shall have everlasting joy."

IT IS FOR FREEDOM THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SET FREE.

----------------------------------------------------------

john 20:31 "these things are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name"

"i came that they may have life, and have it to the full!"

we live. we're good at breathing. we like to talk. we reserve the right to ignore. we laugh and we cry. we dive in if we want to, and avoid when we don't. we give, but often take more. we think we've got this 'living' thing down.

we start new. we pull our socks up. we make goals, and try once again.

the beautiful thing about my God is the unprecedented grace that's been handed out and given freely for 2000 years. really the truth about the gift of grace is that you just accept it. it cost a lot, yes, the cost was steep and its been taken care of, and now its on you to accept it. as you probably know, that's harder than it sounds. we can't believe that God arranged for such a sweet gift of redemption.

"He is wise in heart and mighty in strength -- who has hardened himself against him, and succeeded?..." Job 9:4

the reason why i like this song is really that it's like God saying to me, "I already have this figured out. You're not going to find better. You won't get everything figured out to the point where you won't need my grace. Let me protect you and lead you. I've equipped you and I won't let you fall!"

1 Kings 18: 21-22 "How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him..."

This is not about the shame game. We fall, we fail, we learn, and we grow. God through Jesus is about redemption, and thanks to His goodness, and the freedom we receive in His love and perfect gift of Jesus, we live the classic Cinderella story.

"You are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them" Nehemiah 9:17b

His whispers knock us off our feet and remind us that we are held by the hands that formed the world.

I pray for peace, joy, strength, blessing and reliance on a very big God in the new year.

-------------------------------------------------------

by your side - tenth avenue north

why are you striving these days?

why are you trying to earn grace?

why are you crying?

let me lift up your face

just don't turn away

why are you looking for love?

why are you still searching

as if I'm not enough

to where will you go, child?

tell me, where will you run?

to where will you run?

I'll be by your side

wherever you call

in the dead of night

whenever you fall

please don't fight these hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

look at these hands and my side

they swallowed the grave on that night

when i drank the world's sin

so i could carry you in

and give you life

I want to give you life

cause I, I love you

I want you to know

that I, I love you

I'll never let you go

times and seasons

2009-11-26T12:21:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 43:1-3

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you... he who formed you...

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,

and the flame shall not consume you"

--------------------------------------------------

i think it's understood that the prerequisite for healing is being wounded or unwell. let's go from there.

since everyone has wounds, we're in this together. it can be that part of you that goes (and will continue to go) unmentioned. there are so many different kinds of venues for hurt. the seas of doubt, untold secrets, all kinds of painful memories, loss or fear or insecurities that can rage inside. other hurt is in the form of calloused, numb and cracked parts that exist like embers of an old fire in a slow burn from a once furious blaze. it's exhausting. it's lonely.

HARK. "You, my brothers, were called to be free!" Galatians 5:13

the beautiful part of the family of God is what happens in it when a member suffers. the norm of suffering, of course, is to attend to the hurting individual, 'make the bleeding stop', and comfort them in their pain. there's a next step that i've seen and am blessed by within the "family" context: Love joins into another's suffering. Furthermore, I believe God gives us examples and heroes of our faith to guide us through our suffering. God uses others to minister to us when we suffer.

Jeremiah 3:15 'I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding'

It's hard to believe that the pain we feel is beneficial. I think most of the time I don't trust that "God has a plan for my life". Our society tells us that 'what goes around comes around' and that we offended someone, and 'making amends' will solve the trouble of suffering. There is no doubt that making amends will aid in the process of healing, however, true heart healing comes from .

In May of this year, I sat on a bed in a small one-room building in the beautiful land of Jamaica, reunited with my dear friend Agnes after 5 years. After singing a few songs with her from her small, well-used black hymn book, she asked that I read Ezekiel 37 to her. Though I don't know that I had never read this passage on "The Valley of Dry Bones" before, after reading it aloud for her, I was blown away by the message that Agnes held so dear in the confines of the infirmary where she lived.

Ezekiel 37

God asks:

"Son of Man, can these bones live?" (v.3)

Textbook answer:

"Oh Lord God, you know" (v.4)

God's promise:

"I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live... you shall know I am the Lord...." (v.5)

Our disbelief:

"Our bones are dried up, our hope is lost; we are clean cut off" (v.11)

God's repeats:

"I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live... then you shall know that I am the Lord; I have spoken, and I will do it" (v.14)

Agnes: "Amen... Praise God... yes... shall live!! Amen..."

My Jamaican sister, sitting on the same bed for the last 5 years and probably many more previously, finds hope in knowing that her dry bones, her present suffering, is not the end for her. Her God has promised restoration and claiming this as her very own, Agnes rejoices in her present suffering.

Isaiah 5:8 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord, for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Healer - by: Kari Jobe

you hold my every moment

you calm my raging seas

you walk with me through fire

and heal all my disease

i trust in You

i believe you're my healer

i believe you are all i need

i believe you're my portion

i believe you're more than enough for me

Jesus, you're all i need

nothing is impossible for You

You hold my world in Your hands

--------------------------------------------------------

Isaiah 51:11

"And the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing;

everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;

they shall obtain gladness and joy,

and sorry and sighing shall flee away"

darkness defeated

2009-11-26T11:26:00.001-05:00

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

--------------------------------------------------

to be forsaken in weakness has got to be the darkest place. like being kicked when you're already down. "not only do i identify as weak, someone knows that about me, and on the basis of my weakness, i'm rejected and alone".

we live in a quick-paced, cut-throat society that doesn't understand the meaning of grace or mercy. if you're falling behind, you double-time it back on track. if you're Superman or the female equivalent, you pull all that off before anybody notices. otherwise, our power-hungry society has judged, shamed and forgotten about you.

it's good to know that there's a Champion of our cause. a forgiving and wonderful Father that welcomes us into His arms every time we turn to Him. we are granted shelter and awarded grace and mercy through faith in Jesus. it's a never-ending, fierce love that Jesus covers us with.

Hosea 2:19-20a

"I will make you lie down in safety, I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness, and in justice, and in steadfast love and in mercy... in faithfulness".

Romans 5:4+5

"..we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance... endurance produces character... character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

so what of those living in fear, darkness and shame? our brothers and sisters, our friends, parents, acquaintances, and the man we walk past on the street everyday. i think as ambassadors of Christ (2 Cor 5), its on us to be the ones reaching out and extending love to those trapped in the darkness of failure, or addictions to work, power, money, substance, and all kinds of other crafty traps. everyone's got dark corners. everyone. however, identifying the darkness isn't what we're called to. we're called to bring the light to dark places. to shine and love and be gracious to one another.

2 Corinthians 2:15

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

Ecclesiastes 4:10

"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But, pity the man who falls and has no one to help him."

The truth is that we are saved from condemnation and are never in the position to administer justice, wrath or shame on others. We are freed slaves of sin. Let us, in our freedom, knowing that Jesus has loved us and "rises to have mercy on us", be agents of that Light we've seen.

Chronicles 7:14 (God talking)

"if my people, who are called by my Name... shall humble themselves... pray, seek, crave and 'require of necessity' my face... and turn from their wicked ways, then, I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and... heal their land."

--------------------------------------------------

You Are for Me - Kari Jobe

so faithful, so constant

so loving and so true

so powerful in all you do

you fill me, you see me

you know my every move

you love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me

I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness

I know that you have come down

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me of who you are

so patient, so gracious

so merciful and true

so wonderful in all you do

------------------------------------------------------

Ephesians 3:16-18

"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."

face down

2009-11-11T23:25:00.006-05:00

PJ: what's the theme?

Me: it's about finding your place flat on your face...

----------------------------------------------------------------

I Chronicles 16:11, 27-36

King David's (& Rachel's) Song of Thanks

"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his place.

Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength... the glory due his name;

Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth;

yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.

Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice, and let them say among the nations,

"The Lord reigns!"

Let the sea roar, and all that fills it; let the field exult and everything in it!

Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord,

for he come to judge the earth.

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!"

----------------------------------------------------------

Joshua 5:14-15

Commander: "...I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come."

Joshua: (falls on his face 'to the earth') "What does my lord say to his servant?"

Commander: "Take off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy"

I think there's a beautiful truth that is acted out when people hit the dirt in God's presence. Sometimes all of a sudden we are struck by the contrast of God's greatness and our insignificance, and our efforts are in vain as we can't get low enough. Face down. Silent. Pleading. Surrendered.

There's a thick blank page at the back of my Bible (after the maps) where I write one-liners from songs, Bible verses, authors or speakers that have stood out to me, and there I have a list of people who found themselves face down in God's presence. Good examples of sinners saved by grace like Abraham (Genesis 17:3), Moses (Numbers 20:6), David (1 Chronicles 21:16), Ezekiel (1:28), Daniel (10:15), Peter, James & John (Matthew 17:6), the whole nation of Israel (Leviticus 9:24) and Heaven (Revelations 4:9-11). This list, if nothing else, reminds me that humbling myself before God is a practice of those who have gone before me.

I remember being 17 year old and almost tripping over my dad in a low-traffic area of the sanctuary of the church we had attended for 7 and a 1/2 years, who had found his rightful posture between a couple pews, face down before his King. I don't think I had ever seen someone "prostrated before the Lord" before. I remember feeling like I wanted him to get up. I wanted him to look strong, not hurt, not broken, and as "put together" as possible, thank you. But, instead, seeing my dad seeking God this way, completely undone and humbled, taught me a beautiful lesson of God's presence. Everything bows before Him, our King; people, broken, leaders, pride, prestige, power... all of it in all of us.

"Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth!" Psalm 96:9

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe..." Hebrews 12:28

Jesus' presence among sinners on earth must have been just so confusing to those following him around. It's hard to understand for me too. So, He had to come if we were to have a way to know God, but WHY would he come? How can he love me so much when I'm so broken? ugly? dirty? Does he know that I'm going to mess this up down the road? I'll forget that this gift is so precious, and I'll forget to love Him the way I ought to. I'll come before Him with clanging cymbals and feel pretty confident that I'm loving the way I 'ought to', but I'll be hurting Him.

Praise God for restoration, and one who intercedes for our cryptic messages of confession, adoration and thanksgiving.

"Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day... a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:11

"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean.." Hebrews 10:22

"... the ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." Isaiah 51:11

Jesus asks that we come to him just as we are, with faith, believing that we can be made well in His atonement for us, sacrifice and merciful love.

There is grace abounding in His presence.

"daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace" - Jesus (Luke 8:48)

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Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all. And now we thank you, our God, and praise your glorious name.

- David (1 Chronicles 29:11-13)

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Here in Your Presence (Desperation Band, New Life Worship)

Found in your hands, fullness of joy

Every fear suddenly wiped away

Here in Your presence

All of my gains now fade away

Every crown no longer on display

Here in Your presence

Heaven is trembling in awe of your wonder

The kings and their kingdoms are standing amazed

Here in Your presence,

We are undone

Here in Your presence

Heaven and earth become one

Here in Your presence

All things are new

Here in Your presence

Everything bows before you

Wonderful, Beautiful,

Glorious, Matchless in every way

jubilee

2009-09-29T12:57:00.000-04:00

It's been a while. I spent the summer at camp, moved my life to a different city and now here I am: back to typing in bare feet.

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acts 17:24-28

"The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made ... every nation of mankind ... that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find Him. He is actually not far from each one of us, for 'in Him we live and move and have our being".

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The first time I heard this song was in a service at the preparatory staff week before campers arrive at camp. I felt as though someone had been given a key to my heart, read it cover to cover like a book, and typed it out for everyone to read on PowerPoint.

I was exhausted. Utterly spent and feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility that was mine and the task ahead of me for the summer. As I'm sure you can imagine, or perhaps you've experienced, arriving at camp with an empty tank is not ideal. It's a beautiful mix of expectancy and hopefulness. Mostly because you don't have a choice but to trust in God's provision. You won't be able to pull off what's ahead, and you know God can, so you're left to surrender every effort to His care and good plan.

Here's where the desert idea kicks in. So, here I am, parched, and trying to sing. Trying to give from a place of brokenness and weakness. Trying. Believing. Remaining. Receiving. Learning.

REMAIN. The central theme of the summer. From the passage in John 15, we were directed in our discussions and reflection that really it is God who works, and in His beautiful plan we are chosen to participate in that work. For me, remaining meant keeping "me" out of it. Being a channel, clear of hindrance or blockage, to bring praise and to serve throughout the circumstances ("in every season") where I believe, though I forget, that God is always faithful. The promise and proof of God's faithfulness to me, as His child, is real. And so, I always have a reason to worship and sing. I will bring praise. I will rejoice and declare that God is my victory, and He is here.

DESERT: "when all that's within me feels dry"

psalm 119 "my comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life"

john 15:16 "you did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit..."

the LIES: You will always feel alone. You were made for brokenness and suffering.

the TRUTH: You were chosen to participate in greatness. You will be saved from your suffering. Your King knows your suffering.

IN MY HUNGER & NEED: "my God is the God who provides"

isaiah 41:10 "so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"

the LIES: You will not be comforted. You are always going to be striving for what you need. You will never be whole.

the TRUTH: You don't need to be afraid of what will happen tomorrow. You are safe. God knows your need.

FIRE: "in weakness or trial or pain"... "refine me Lord through the flame"

isaiah 40:31 "...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength..."

the LIES: You will always be ________.

the TRUTH: You are a new creation. 'The old has gone, the new has come'.

BATTLE: "when triumph is still on its way"

acts 5:38 "... if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them"

john 16:33 "i have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace... but take heart; I have overcome the world"

the LIES: You will never see victory.

the TRUTH: The battle is won. Triumph is coming. It is here.

"No weapon formed against me shall remain"

acts 18:9 "do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you..."

acts 10:15 "what God has made clean, do not call common."

psalm 71:21 "you will increase my honor, you will comfort me once again"

the LIES: You won't be able to do it. You'll fail. Your efforts will be in vain. You'll be out there all alone.

the TRUTH: You are God's masterpiece, created to do good... You're not common! You're the Beloved. You'll never be alone.

HARVEST: "filled to be emptied again"

psalm 51 "Create in me a clean heart... restore to me the JOY of your salvation... and renew a right spirit within me."

romans 3:23-24 "for all have sinned and fall sort of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus"

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."

the LIES: You're stained. You're used up. You can't be made whole. And even if you were, God can't use you.

the TRUTH: Grace has been poured out on you to restore you and give you joy. This joy will overflow to others to the glory of God.

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DESERT SONG - Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice

I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on its way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life, in every season

You are still God, I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest

when favour and providence flow

i know i'm filled to emptied again

the seed i've received I will sow

brace yourself

2009-04-23T02:14:00.003-04:00

k, for this one - make sure you listen to the actual song. click on the title.

i often only think in terms of my specific circumstance. you might say i suffer from a serious case of tunnel vision. i am bound, as we all are, for this time to an imperfect context. my spirit's innocence to unabashedly encounter God's love is clouded and tainted by all my 21 years of living as a broken, near-sighted individual. i often don't consider that the love offered in Jesus isn't overwhelmed by the same rules or boundaries or context in which i exist. i can't wrap my head around it, really. i'm in awe, and i'm thankful that Jesus' love, which is freely given, and frees. it's an empowering love.

Jesus lived the message of his love as he broke some "rules" society had in place. Jesus went out of his way to show that he came to love us. there are many examples...

Jesus welcomed children, and told the disciples not to barricade them from coming into his presence. I imagine they just wanted to run right up and sit on his knee, be as close as they could possibly get to 'the action' as he told stories about seeds and weeds. I imagine if my desire was to be as close to Him as those kids wanted to be, I would know better the safety and rest of his welcoming arms.

Matthew 19:14 "Leave the children alone! Allow the little ones to come to Me, and do not forbid or restrain or hinder them, for of such [as these] is the kingdom of heaven composed."

Jesus also made it abundantly clear while on earth that he had come to love, heal and save those who had no hope, those who needed healing, justice and mercy. Simon Peter, Jesus' little rock, who denied knowing Jesus three times needed Jesus' abounding grace (Matt. 26:75). The woman who loved much was forgiven much (Mark 14). Zaccheus, the tax collector, needed to repent and repay to know new life (Luke 19). Thomas, though he doubted, believed was saved from his unbelief (John 20). The blind would see, and the lame walked (John 9:25; Mark 2:9). Those who had been cast out with leprosy joined society anew (Matt. 8:2-3). Another woman reached out to Jesus and in her faith, was healed of her bleeding (Luke 8:48). We need love, and it has been supplied in great abundance through Jesus death and life so that God can love us.

His love is powerful enough to 'eclipse our afflictions' with His its glory. He is complete love. He has shown all-encompassing, over-flowing, gracious, merciful, freeing love. He doesn't forget, doesn't need to ask for forgiveness, doesn't fail, and won't quit. There's hope and matchless beauty in the restorative way He loves us. Marvel in it. Enjoy it.

The powerful reminder that we're "drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes" reminds me that it's with grace and love that we are to introduce others to Jesus' love. We, all of us (not ONE excluded!), are not going to be strong enough for ocean of grace He pours over us... if we face it, we're going to sink in it's overwhelming power! (Something not too awful to be 'caught up' in!)

Like me, you probably don't need to be told to 'brace yourself'. I think many of us live in a sufficiently "braced" state. As you take it in, let the message of this Love be the agent of grace that loosens those binds and calls you from out of whatever has kept you alone, hiding.

You're accepted. You're welcomed in. You're loved. You're beautiful. You're free.

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Deutoronomy 4:24 "For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."

1 Corinthians 13:10 "... but when Perfection comes, the imperfect disappears..."

1 John 4:10 "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

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How He Loves Us - Kim Walker

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight
of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so...

Yeah, He loves us, oh,
How He loves us, oh
How He loves us, oh,
How He loves

We are His portion
And He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

He loves us, oh,
How He loves us, oh
How He loves us, oh,
How He loves

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* my favourite line is: 'So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss'. God has gone to far more ridiculous, real, and tangible measures to make His love known to us!!

love's perfect gift

2009-04-13T19:04:00.001-04:00

"This is how we know what love is, Jesus Christ laid down His life for us." 1 John 3:16

Easter's beautiful. One weekend is such a journey: from the great sacrifice and message of Jesus' blood to 'He is Risen! He is Risen, indeed!' and celebration on Sunday/Monday! I have been reminded this weekend of the fact that God's offer of rescue was not a secret plan that would provide a way for me to reciprocate the same love God has shown me. His plan was for a 'forever' kind of relationship. He has always been interested in reaching out to me.

1 Corinthians 15:3-4: I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said.

Love came down and bridged the gap for those who believe, receive and accept the gift of the cross. First, God created me for relationship with Him, then, Jesus came to live an example in a life of perfection and death in my place so my sins could be wiped out. Over and over, I forget what the cost was for Love to come down and reach me.

I can't keep up with that kind of love. He's perfect, and so is how he loves me. I can never wander out too far. I can never be outside the realm of His love. Today I am reminded that I am protected, pursued and profoundly loved.

1. 'all for love a Father gave'
John 3:16 "God loved the world so very, very much that he gave his only Son. Because he did that, everyone who believes in him will not lose his life, but will live for ever."

2. 'only Love can make a way'
Hebrews 9:26 "Then Christ would have had to suffer many times since the creation of the world. But now he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of himself."
Matthew 26:28 "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

3. 'you forgive if only i ask'
Hebrews 10:15-23 The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:
"This is the covenant I will make with them
after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds."
Then he adds:
"Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."
And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Psalm 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

4. 'all for love a Saviour prayed: "Abba Father, have your way"'
Mark 14: 35-46 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

5. 'the enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold [God] down'
1 Corinthians 15:54-58 Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

ALL FOR LOVE/SHOUT UNTO GOD (by: Mia Fields)
All for love a Father gave
For only love can make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For Love was crucified

Oh, how many times have i broken Your heart
Still you forgive if only I ask
And how many times have you heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything i need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angels' song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

Oh, how many times have i broken Your heart
Still you forgive if only I ask
And how many times have you heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

All for love a Saviour prayed
"Abba Father have your way,
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw men to You"

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

The enemy has been defeated
Death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of trumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

...............................................................

You are victorious, God. Thank you, Father, for making a way for us to know Your love. how wide, how deep, how high.... how immeasurable... how beautiful... how complete, how wonderful, how lovely, how mighty... is YOUR LOVE. i'm drawn in, i'm overcome. Amen.
...............................................................

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

mighty to save (me)

2009-04-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

Israel's Joy & Restoration (Zephaniah 3:14-20)
14Shout for joy, O daughter of Zion!
Shout in triumph, O Israel!
Rejoice and exult with all your heart,
O daughter of Jerusalem!
15The LORD has taken away His judgments against you,
He has cleared away your enemies
The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst;
You will fear disaster no more.
16In that day it will be said to Jerusalem:
"Do not be afraid, O Zion;
Do not let your hands fall limp.
17"The LORD your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.
18"I will gather those who grieve about the appointed feasts--
They came from you, O Zion;
The reproach of exile is a burden on them.
19"Behold, I am going to deal at that time
With all your oppressors,
I will save the lame
And gather the outcast,
And I will turn their shame into praise and renown
In all the earth.
20"At that time I will bring you in,
Even at the time when I gather you together;
Indeed, I will give you renown and praise
Among all the peoples of the earth,
When I restore your fortunes before your eyes,"
Says the LORD.

The good news is: God is in the business of moving mountains.

We're talkin' the knitty-gritty, dig-down-deep, get-dirty, up-close-and-personal, we're-in-this-together kind of healing. He's interested in restoring joy and providing for all my needs, great and small. I believe that He is able, and He has promised to be faithful as I navigate through the hills and valleys of my hopes, dreams, plans and realities. I guess my "mountains" could be summarized in the ongoing dialogue of obstacles and trials, fears and regrets that have shown up as piles of discouragement and lies that I believe about myself, my circumstance, my past failures and my future plans.

We often need to be saved from the lies we believe. If you were to be 'droppin some eaves' on a conversation between my friend Kate and I, you would be blessed (as I am) to be reminded that as a child of the King, we can proceed with confidence in whatever trials or circumstances, big or small we can "expect to be warmly received". Not only are we received with the compassion of a Saviour, but we are strengthened as we hold on to to Truth that our God, who is a VICTORIOUS warrior, has some elaborate plans for us and is constantly at work in dispelling the lies we cling to and giving life to the dreams, peace and passions He's given us. We can be confident: we have nothing to fear.

Ezekiel 37:26-28 "I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant with them And I will place them and multiply them, and will set My sanctuary in their midst forever. My dwelling place also will be with them; and I will be their God, and they will be My people. And the nations will know that I am the LORD who sanctifies Israel, when My sanctuary is in their midst forever."

Luke 12:32 "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."

I'm glad this next song was written. In the middle of last summer, on a day of rest... at a worship time effectively named "Oasis", I was blessed once again by this song, believing the promise that my Friend, God, Saviour has made it so he can run the business of moving my mountains and providing a way for all of my needs to be met - for no other reason but because of His care, compassion and love for me.

I read this verse today, and was encouraged by the picture of God's outpouring of blessing, according to His plan:

Zechariah 10:1 "Ask rain from the LORD in the season of spring rain, from the LORD who makes the storm clouds, and he will given them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field."

Mighty to work. Mighty to provide. Mighty to love. Mighty to give freely. Mighty to show grace and compassion. Mighty to restore. Mighty to save.

MIGHTY TO SAVE (Hillsong United)

Everyone needs compassion,
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King Jesus

Luke 24:38-39
And he said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have."

Acts 18:9
"Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you..."

cry

2009-03-21T01:23:00.006-04:00

I think we all, at one time or another (or all the time), try too hard to be strong. We know we're weak, we know too well how we've failed, we're pretty sure we're not alone in our state of brokenness, but we would still like to at least appear strong. Okay, I do. I like to be in control. When I can't control my surroundings, I like to keep my own emotions under wraps. I do my best not to lose my cool and I don't often cry, not because I am "above" it, but because I'm afraid of not being perceived as strong.

We all cry sometimes. There are different reasons, durations, locations, and surroundings, but the tears do fall, our hearts ache, we need a safe place, we need grace.

2 Samuel 22:7 "In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears."

One of my favourite stories in the bible is of the Prodigal Son, in Luke 15. We're at the part of the story (verse 18) where the son's walking down the road towards the house he abandoned years earlier, planning how he'll tell his dad just how bad he messed up, spending all that money and shaming the family. He's planning on asking to live and work among his father's servants. Meanwhile, way down the road, his dad, who's been watching for him (for years, apparently), is RUNNING towards him. He can't wait to welcome him home. He's been waiting for a sign that his son has turned back towards him. The father reaches him and immediately wraps him with his finest robe and has a feast prepared for his 'welcome home' party. The son had only to come back, and the welcome his father had for him was far greater than he could ever have imagined.

Okay, we don't just cry when we've done something wrong, sometimes it's because someone has hurt us. Other times we may be tired of waiting, we find ourselves in another frustrating circumstance, anxiety, depression, fear, reservation, loss....

We know when it's time to cry out. You can't hold it in any longer. Right now? God's listening. He's waiting. He's watching for you to walk back down the road. He'll meet you were you are. He's faithful.

Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry"

This song is so beautiful. The history and meaning behind the names we can use to cry to God help paint a picture of God's faithfulness and attributes. Reminds me of who's in control of things when I lose control.

El Shaddai
The name then refers to the pre-Mosaic patriarchal understanding of deity as "God who is sufficient." God is sufficient, that is, to supply all of one's needs, and therefore by derivation "almighty". root meaning - "Almighty". Name of God used by Abraham, Jacob and Isaac. Connected to the notion of God's fertility, provision and blessings of the human race. Also, connected to Hebrew word Dai meaning "sufficient, enough, sufficiency".

Adonai - "my lord"
Psalm 3:4 "To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah"
NOTE: Selah means something like "stop and listen". I think sometimes we cry and then hurry back into our lives - make sure things stay 'normal'. Next time you cry out to God, stop and listen.God responds when we cry to Him. He hears the cries of the weak. Those who surrender their pride and bow before the heavenly throne of grace.

Jesus Christ
When I think of Jesus in the context of crying, I think of 2 different stories. The first is when Jesus mourns the death of Lazarus, his friend, in John chapter 11. To me, this story is a symbol of the reality of Jesus' suffering as a human being on the earth. The verb in the greek is actually not "wept" but "burst into tears". He lost his cool. A whole bunch of people were standing around grieving and he joined in. He wasn't okay. He knew real suffering. I am comforted by a God who knows suffering.The second story is when Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane when He if there's a chance that "this cup" (the task of dying on the cross for my sins) be removed from him - and he then CHOSES suffering to free me from mine. In Jesus is a beautiful picture of "crying out" to God.

Abba, Father - "daddy"
Romans 8:15&16 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (or adoption). And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
I like the idea of a perfect world where all dads love sacrificially in a way that their children are certain that they are wholly loved, respected, safe and completely provided for. That's our heavenly dad. For all our needs, when we cry out, like the father of the prodigal son, He welcomes us home.

WE CRY OUT - Gateway Worship

Father of Life, seated on your throne of grace
It's only by Your mercy we are saved
Lord, you have said, if we call upon Your Name
We and our families will be saved

So we cry out Your name
El shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on your grace
Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

Father of Love, never failing to forgive
Each moment is a gift from You to live
We're only here to tell the world about your grace
Until the day you take us all away

We will cry out Your name
El shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on your grace
Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

Abba, Father. Adonai, El Shaddai.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

home

2009-02-26T22:50:00.005-05:00

There's something sacred about "home" to me.
Home base confirms i'm SAFE and my striving can stop.
Even the idea of being 'home free' is a sure-fire recipe for a hearty sigh of relief.
When i feel at home, I'm at rest. It rest assured that 'home' is around even when I'm not.
The foundation is sturdy and strong - rooted in friendships, honesty and grace.

I live in my parents house in Montreal for most of the year. I love my family and have grown in respect for the members within this house throughout my 21 years. Part of me is home here, with them. I can feel safe with them, be myself - no matter what. For the rest of the year, I live in a quaint cabin beside a basketball court in a place where 'combo-packs' and candy are valid currency. There, with friends who I admire and learn from everyday that we're together, I have a second home. Home is also the table that joins two friends meeting to hear eachother out after a falling out. We were MADE for that kind of 'home'-ness. It's called community!

Sometimes it's really not that comfy. Am I right? People move, people hurt, people forget, people leave and not least, people let you down. They may have their reasons, you may have your regrets, and their may be some brokenness. Home base is cracked. Home free is tampered with. It hurts, but is it lost? Where did 'home' start? Where did "safe and sound" take off? Well, with the God of the nation of Israel. His name was so holy that they didn't even spell it all the way out. They left out the vowels: Y-H-W-H.

Genesis 49:
24 But his bow remained steady,
his strong arms stayed limber,
because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob,
because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,
25 because of your father's God, who helps you,
because of the Almighty, who blesses you
with blessings of the heavens above,
blessings of the deep that lies below,
blessings of the breast and womb.

You are steadied by the hand of the Mighty One. Don't you love that motherly imagery - a womb! Talk about protection. You're safe. He's faithful, and you can have real freedom in Him. Rest! Be real - don't leave anything out. Get to know this freedom, this resting place, this foundation. Be at home.

Yesterday, Today & Forever (Vicky Beeching)

Everlasting God, the years go by but you're unchanging
In this fragile world, You are the only firm Foundation
Always loving, always true,
Always merciful and good, so good

Yesterday, Today and Forever
You are the same You never change
Yesterday, Today and Forever
You are faithful
We will trust in You

Uncreated One, You have no end and no beginning
Earthly powers fade but there is no end to Your Kingdom
Always loving, always true,
Always merciful and good, so good

Yahweh, God unchanging
Yahweh, firm foundation
Yahweh, God unchanging
Yahweh, firm foundation

once upon a love story

2009-02-11T23:41:00.007-05:00

okay, so let's all keep in mind... for this to be enjoyable, it's important to listen to the songs i talk about in the blog. it's kind of the point. I want you to enjoy them and react too! okay, great.

so, Montreal's a cold place, and the closest I've been to being completely "swept off my feet" recently was when I was almost laid out by a sheet of ice hurrying towards my afternoon class last Thursday. That's a bad feeling. Even among the many other ways I can think of being 'swept away', they always seem to involve losing control or being completely overwhelmed. One minute, you're swimming and suddenly you're caught in rapids pulling you downstream? Swept away. No control.

One of the greatest stories in the Bible, in my opinion, is when King David brings the ark back to Israel, and he was swept away in worship for God. In second Samuel 6:5&16 it says, "David and the whole house of Israel were celebrating with all their might before the LORD, with songs and with harps, lyres, tambourines, sistrums and cymbals... and David... danced before the Lord with all his might." What a great picture. Uncalculated, unprepared, unabashed, full-body worship. No rules or boundaries. David even gets reprimanded, and he says "I'll become even more ndignified than this..." in verse 22. There would be nothing stopping him from the overwhelming joy and praise he wanted to bring before His God. How exciting.

I was talking to a friend this week about the rules that are imposed on us, as well as the ones we impose on ourselves to keep us from being 'swept away'. It's a way we choose to control ourselves and our surroundings. We want to be comfortable by sticking to these rules, we
choose to "keep it under control" for the sake of our reputations, image, or whatever we find important. The thing that I would argue is broken in our use of a rule-based ethic is that it can overpower our belief that God wants to change us from the inside out with his perfect Love.

When we think of Jesus' love and grace given so freely, we can accept Him as the only agent of true freedom, creativity, satisfaction, brokenness, and real beauty in our lives. The truth that God loves me and created me to love Him is overwhelming and beautiful, freeing and lovely.

What is it about God that overwhelms you? When's the last time you were swept away in the truth of His love for you? What rules are keeping you from being totally immersed in His freedom? The love story of our Saviour is enough to catch anyone off guard. Don't be afraid to be loved by the One who came to love you.

John 10:9-11
"I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out [freely], and will find pasture. The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destrip. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd risks and lays down His [own] life for the sheep.

'Sweep Me Away' - Kari Jobe (new CD: kari jobe - not on youtube, sorry)

Father, I love Your ways.
You came in Your mercy, and died in my place.
All I can do is bow, because of Your goodness
and Your sovereign grace, that You...

Sweep me away. Sweep me away in Your love where nothing else matters.

Tears rolling down my face,
because of Your love and Your sweet embrace.
The peace that just overflows... it's here that I know
You have been waiting to...

Sweep me away. Sweep me away in Your love where nothing else matters.

Your grace, it covers me. Your love, it covers me. O God, You cover me.

love, though i'm not worthy

2009-01-29T22:42:00.003-05:00

Psalm 8:3&4 - "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"

There's something magical and unimaginable about growing up knowing that the King of all creation wants to be in relationship with you. At a very young age I accepted the grace God provided that I will never deserve through His Son, Jesus. I accepted the greatest gift with only a very little idea of the great cost only God could provide with His own son's blood.

Growing up I've learned through a bounty of stories and life-journeys filled with kindness and forgiveness from El Shaddai, Almighty God, God who gives life, that my God's love is matchless. I continue to learn about the sacrifice, this grace, my brokenness, my strivings and failings, and my unworthiness more and more as I fall down and am made to rise again. Each day I understand less why God keeps his hand stretched out to me, His arms wide open, His mercy in
sacrifice made free. Though I'm not worthy, He loves me.

Alright - go check out this song. There are a couple parts of this one that resonate with me...

"though i'm not worthy...

"to see your precious face":
1 Corinthians 13:12 - For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

Ha! It's hard to believe sometimes that our reality, where we live and as we breath, ache and soar, is just a warped and broken translation of what was intended. God has prepared so much more for us. We are given a glimpse of God's goodness in His desire to love us, and we can't understand the magnitude of his grace for us that extends so deep, to heal and make new.

"to feel your love":
Isaiah 30:18 - And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]! Wonder of wonders, God moves towards me in my search for Him. He doesn't leave me to figure it out. He 'lifts Himself up', and then shows mercy.

"in your grace I long to stand":
Exodus 2:4-6
4 God saw that he had stopped to look. God called to him from out of the bush, "Moses! Moses!"
He said, "Yes? I'm right here!"
5 God said, "Don't come any closer. Remove your sandals from your feet. You're standing on holy ground."
6 Then he said, "I am the God of your father: The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob."
Moses hid his face, afraid to look at God.

God desires a humble heart, and there's arguably not enough "facedown" worship taking place, but I love the picture of Moses walking towards the bush, sandals off, in reverence and humility, speaking with God. Discussing the next steps. God welcomes us to that place of community with Him.

It's crazy that God's grace far surpasses what would be expected of even a very kind job supervisor or best friend, except with God we're talking 'in-charge of-everything-has-every-right-to-give-up-on-me" when I fail, when I grieve him. It's bountiful. It's complete.

I'm not worthy.

'Though I'm Not Worthy'
Lyrics by: Curtis Stephan, sung by: Kari Jobe

though I'm not worthy
to see your precious face
i bow before thee
pour out your holy Grace
for you alone can wash my sin
and cleanse my soul so deep within

heal me, wash me in your mercy
mend these broken pieces of my heart
love me, though i am not worthy
cleanse my soul and make me whole again
only say the word and i shall be healed

though I'm not worthy
in your grace i love to stand
and bow before thee
stretch out your healing hand
for you alone can purify
and heal these wounds so deep inside

I'm not worthyto feel your love oh Lord
I bow before thee
my Saviour, be adored
for you alone break hardened hearts
and bid old bitterness depart

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Jeremiah 31:3&4 - "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built... Again you shall adorn yourself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of the merrymakers."