hope
October 11, 2012
written Jan 24/12
she taught me about hope;
she warned me about it.
she said it would lead me and betray me,
she had seen its light and trusted it.
she had come a long way since then
she was stronger for it, and wiser
she would hope again, but not here
and not without reservation
and not without a good reason
truly she trusted the darkness more
and she was stumbling around happily in it
and she was surrounded by it
she ignored the source of hope’s light
she knew only the opposite
and then believed
she needed
a better reason to hope
written Nov. 14/2010
i fear pain. honest.
maybe it’s ‘cause i’m selfish
maybe i could call it self-preservation
‘cause it hurts too much
and it urks too much
stuck in ideals of church too much
those needy, left in the lurch too much
maybe we could call it a pattern
maybe it comes from darker taverns
cause i’m sure enough
that we’re deep enough
to know when enough’s enough
find truth by spreading light enough
on the wrong and those troubled
on the needs that grow and double
it’s doesn’t take a sleuth
to know of confidence, youth
to know loyalty like Ruth’s
that provides light and guiding Truth
for we give and hold back
we forgive but we lack
we lay down and attack
goods we stack
deeds we track
if we’re honest, we’re scared
observing rest
October 9, 2012
The Antithesis of Psalm 23
by Marcia K. Hornok
The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me to deep depression. It hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity’s sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it done,
For my “ideal” is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me,
beyond the limits of my schedule.
They annoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overflows.
Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.
I am really bad at finding, choosing and valuing rest. I am learning what it is to truly rest and how resting is an act of obedience. In fact, right now I am enjoying some jazz in the middle of the week - just chillin'. This is not lazy; this is wise!
“Jesus calls us to his rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort.” - A.W. Tozer
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28+29 - "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls."
Soul-Level Relief. Deep Ease. Needed Refreshment. Recreation (fun!). Blessed Quiet. For my SOUL!
"Japanese Version of Psalm 23"
(Composed by Toki Miyashina and broadcast by Rev. Eric Frost on 4th May 1965)
The Lord is my Pace-setter, I shall not rush;
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals.
He provides me with images of stillness,which restore my serenity;
He leads me in ways of efficiency through calmness of mind,
And His guidance is peace.
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day,
I will not fret, for His presence is here.
His timelessness, His all importance, will keep me in balance.
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity
By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquillity.
Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours,
For I shall walk in the peace of my Lord, and dwell in His house forever.
by Marcia K. Hornok
The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me to deep depression. It hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity’s sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it done,
For my “ideal” is with me.
Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me,
beyond the limits of my schedule.
They annoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overflows.
Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.
I am really bad at finding, choosing and valuing rest. I am learning what it is to truly rest and how resting is an act of obedience. In fact, right now I am enjoying some jazz in the middle of the week - just chillin'. This is not lazy; this is wise!
“Jesus calls us to his rest, and meekness is His method. The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort.” - A.W. Tozer
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28+29 - "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls."
Soul-Level Relief. Deep Ease. Needed Refreshment. Recreation (fun!). Blessed Quiet. For my SOUL!
"Japanese Version of Psalm 23"
(Composed by Toki Miyashina and broadcast by Rev. Eric Frost on 4th May 1965)
The Lord is my Pace-setter, I shall not rush;
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals.
He provides me with images of stillness,which restore my serenity;
He leads me in ways of efficiency through calmness of mind,
And His guidance is peace.
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day,
I will not fret, for His presence is here.
His timelessness, His all importance, will keep me in balance.
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity
By anointing my mind with His oils of tranquillity.
Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours,
For I shall walk in the peace of my Lord, and dwell in His house forever.
believe; listen & keep dreaming.
September 17, 2012
today i was told that i should keep dreaming - bigger and greater dreams for God's kingdom. i will try do that.
i will also try remember Who it is who calls me.
i will seek to discover more about how great, mighty, good and faithful God is.
after some dreaming, i did a substantial amount of questioning. then, i did some listening.
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God calls. He does this in the form of a dream that tugs on my heart. I hear it and (barely) respond.
Isaiah 6
8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for Us?" Then said I, "Here am I; send me."
Doubt creeps in. Fear enters the exciting scene. "But, who am I?"
Exodus 4
10 And Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I am not eloquent or a man of words, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and have a heavy and awkward tongue."
11 And the Lord said to him, "Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the dumb, or the deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and will teach you what you shall say."
Esther 4
14 For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise for the Jews from elsewhere, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows but that you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this and for this very occasion?
OK. God is... aaactually sending me. But, He will go with me and provide for me. I think I'm getting this. But then, no... that's not all.
Acts 5
38 Now in the present case let me say to you, stand off (withdraw) from these men and let them alone. For if this doctrine or purpose or undertaking or movement is of human origin, it will fail (be overthrown and come to nothing); 39 But if it is of God, you will not be able to stop or overthrow or destroy them; you might even be found fighting against God!
The Lord will go ahead; leading, and having already made the way. This, He promises.
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my Light and my Salvation—whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refugeand Stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even my enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
3 Though a host encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, [even then] in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord and to meditate, consider, and inquire in His temple.
5 For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent will He hide me; He will set me high upon a rock.
6 And now shall my head be lifted up above my enemies round about me; in His tent I will offer sacrifices and shouting of joy; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; have mercy and be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, Seek My face [inquire for and require My presence as your vital need]. My heart says to You, Your face (Your presence), Lord, will I seek, inquire for, and require [of necessity and on the authority of Your Word].
9 Hide not Your face from me; turn not Your servant away in anger, You Who have been my help! Cast me not off, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation!
10 Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child].
11 Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain and even path because of my enemies [those who lie in wait for me].
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen up against me; they breathe out cruelty and violence.
13 [What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living!
14 Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord.
And, though I still hesitate to believe wholeheartedly...
Philippians 1
6 I’m sure about this: the one who started a good work in you will stay with you to complete the job by the day of Christ Jesus.
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to be continued.
somebody
May 27, 2012
somebody called a Name
they called for freedom
they called for laughter
they asked that joy and peace
and love might follow after
somebody called a Name
somebody listened long
they heard the thunder
they heard the song
they prayed that ears be open
and hearts would belong
somebody listened long
somebody believed in Life
they touched the sick
they touched the sky
they walked the streets
and brought the broken home
somebody believed in Life
somebody asked questions
they gave no answers
they gave no fight
they asked that in faith
their ways would be right
somebody asked questions
somebody shouted for joy
they painted forgiveness
they painted release
they wanted the truth to
be in action, not only speech
somebody shouted for joy
somebody reached out
they stood in the gap
they stood up tall
they created a bridge
and forgot they were small
somebody reached out
somebody called out loud
they called for freedom
they called for laughter
they hoped that joy and peace
and love would follow after
somebody called out loud
Grace: a great gift, my part, my questions.
May 10, 2012
The song "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath stirred up this blog post today. (It's been a while since a song-blog, eh?)
Shocked, this week I listened as a friend was socially ostracized for a horrific choice they made. The expression of anger I witnessed didn't resemble the grace I wished would be extended to my friend and made me cringe as I considered the ways I fail in stewarding God's grace to others. I confess, there are circumstances or situations or people that I have treated with a "doomed" mentality..... which is wrong and judgemental of me. It, also, is simply not my place.
As broken and imperfect human beings, I was struck by the power we have as Christians to reconcile people and welcome them to the beauty of God's gift of love. When we don't act as agents of reconciliation, we spread brokenness. In our depraved way of understanding we can act as blockers (dams, if you will) to the healing waters of God's grace and mercy. We taint or limit God's work of grace by closing our hearts to those we (consciously or unconsciously) deem 'outside' of God's reach or believe to be 'beyond' restoration.
Questions filled my mind as the tears filled my eyes and my heart grew heavy.
can/should love always hope? (1Cor13)
does grace ever ever ever run out? (Jn1:16, Rm3:24/5:20)
is there an end-point to love's reach? (Isaiah 59:1)
has Love ever failed me? (Deut 31:6, Josh 23:14)
as an agent of reconciliation through Jesus Christ, what action must i take? (2 Cor 5:18)
do i let fear beat out love's pull to relationship? (Jn 14:1)
how do we forget we were also forgiven in our condemning words? (1 Cor 6:20)
are we not also redeemed from the wreckage? (Isaiah 1:18)
i am dust just like my neighbour, right? (Ps 103:14)
for what purpose were you freed? (Eph 2)
today, and always, does love matter most? (1 Cor 13)
where have i blocked love from 'flowing through'? (2 Cor 4:1)
There is a precedent presented in Jesus where grace is honest and beautiful and messy and overflowing, and is for everyone. We want to be good stewards of God's grace, which I believe shouldn't be treated as a finite amount of precious perfume... but should be spilt and splashed liberally throughout the places and relationships we are welcomed into as we share the gifts we've been given (Eph 2:9). Are we not the 'aroma of Christ' (2 Cor 2:15)?
I think it's pretty important to decide how I'm going to live, apply, share, give, spread and thank God for the grace I've been given. Truth is, God can and will do what He wills without me. (But I'd rather be part of the amazing work He's actively doing.) God's in the business of restoring people to Himself... I want to only always be helpful in the process of reconciliation and, otherwise, I need to get out of the way!!
How will I build on the foundation or example of grace laid out for me? How can I excel in this 'act of grace' and align myself with what God is doing in people's lives so that grace can abound from God... through me... to the people I come in contact with?
1 Cor 3:10 - "According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it."
2 Cor 8:7 - "But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you — see that you excel in this act of grace also."
Shocked, this week I listened as a friend was socially ostracized for a horrific choice they made. The expression of anger I witnessed didn't resemble the grace I wished would be extended to my friend and made me cringe as I considered the ways I fail in stewarding God's grace to others. I confess, there are circumstances or situations or people that I have treated with a "doomed" mentality..... which is wrong and judgemental of me. It, also, is simply not my place.
As broken and imperfect human beings, I was struck by the power we have as Christians to reconcile people and welcome them to the beauty of God's gift of love. When we don't act as agents of reconciliation, we spread brokenness. In our depraved way of understanding we can act as blockers (dams, if you will) to the healing waters of God's grace and mercy. We taint or limit God's work of grace by closing our hearts to those we (consciously or unconsciously) deem 'outside' of God's reach or believe to be 'beyond' restoration.
Questions filled my mind as the tears filled my eyes and my heart grew heavy.
can/should love always hope? (1Cor13)
does grace ever ever ever run out? (Jn1:16, Rm3:24/5:20)
is there an end-point to love's reach? (Isaiah 59:1)
has Love ever failed me? (Deut 31:6, Josh 23:14)
as an agent of reconciliation through Jesus Christ, what action must i take? (2 Cor 5:18)
do i let fear beat out love's pull to relationship? (Jn 14:1)
how do we forget we were also forgiven in our condemning words? (1 Cor 6:20)
are we not also redeemed from the wreckage? (Isaiah 1:18)
i am dust just like my neighbour, right? (Ps 103:14)
for what purpose were you freed? (Eph 2)
today, and always, does love matter most? (1 Cor 13)
where have i blocked love from 'flowing through'? (2 Cor 4:1)
There is a precedent presented in Jesus where grace is honest and beautiful and messy and overflowing, and is for everyone. We want to be good stewards of God's grace, which I believe shouldn't be treated as a finite amount of precious perfume... but should be spilt and splashed liberally throughout the places and relationships we are welcomed into as we share the gifts we've been given (Eph 2:9). Are we not the 'aroma of Christ' (2 Cor 2:15)?
I think it's pretty important to decide how I'm going to live, apply, share, give, spread and thank God for the grace I've been given. Truth is, God can and will do what He wills without me. (But I'd rather be part of the amazing work He's actively doing.) God's in the business of restoring people to Himself... I want to only always be helpful in the process of reconciliation and, otherwise, I need to get out of the way!!
How will I build on the foundation or example of grace laid out for me? How can I excel in this 'act of grace' and align myself with what God is doing in people's lives so that grace can abound from God... through me... to the people I come in contact with?
1 Cor 3:10 - "According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it."
2 Cor 8:7 - "But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness, and in our love for you — see that you excel in this act of grace also."
a prayer, in Jesus' name
February 26, 2012
when i forget You are holy, that Jesus the Holy One died, remind me
when i forget Jesus’ blood alone can make me clean, remind me
when i forget Jesus was broken for me, a sinner, remind me
when i believe i know what it means to suffer, humble me
when i live as though the cross i bear is outside Your understanding, humble me
when i give and complain as though i invented surrender, humble me
forgive me, for the ways i act like Peter and forsake you in my day
forgive me, for the ways i act like Judas and trade you for riches
forgive me, for the ways i act like Pilate and wash my hands of You
forgive me, for the ways i act like Herod and make a mockery of Jesus
forgive me, for the ways i act like the High Priest and reject You
forgive me, for the ways i act outside Your will, as if believing I own my life
thank you for Your work that cleanses me
thank you for Your work that humbles me
thank you for Your work that restores relationship
thank you for Your work that grants mercy
thank you for Your work that frees me
thank you for Your work that brings new life
John 15:13 - ‘greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends’
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