She screamed full of terror,
full of loss and void of hope.
She screamed like drowning
and without a sign of rope.
She screamed four times strong
and then sputtered a line.
She wanted vengeance and justice;
she wanted a life for a life.
Her screams were not deep
or strong, though few.
Her screams were weak
and tired and hurting through.
Her soul did then break,
her breath fell all too short.
I wonder what they'll put
on their police report:
"There's nothing to be done,
her eyes no longer cry.
Her only, newest wish is
that she could quickly die."
She lost her child today,
one simple, awful, concrete fact.
There's almost no chance
that she'll ever get them back.
A woman's heart gave up today.
I listened to her screams.
I heard the most awful sound,
in four long, haunting streams.

sometimes it starts early: forgetting all of what's at stake
you earn it as their 'runner', each and every cent you make
and someone's always gotta pay.
run.
patterns quickly escalate and boys turn into men
you remember where you were and miss it now and again
and you want to make it back one day.
run.
places to see but no where to go
moved around Ontario
and home is very far away.
run.
he says it's been forever since he had an easy pace.
he starting running long ago and wants to quit this race
so i asked him not to quit today.
run.

i met a young man recently who reminded me of just how complicated hurt can be. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he's such a tank
and its not just a name
blackout fights
someone always hits the plane

watchful eyes, wry wit
and lying smile
brotherhood of family
family's been gone a while

watched as one who is helpless
seeing one's heart's greatest fear
begs and makes certain
no one takes what is most dear

he'll be strong forever
he'll only fight and win
together we're all better
for brothers there is no too great a sin

run riot for respect
give up no good thing
until there's nothing left
don't hesitate to swing

do best at being brave
carry life's former war
the world's a stage
and he's tallying the score

watch for him, he's scared
he's coated with justice's cloak
and don't get in his way
he says his "heart's all but been broke"

so wage freedom with your love
look past the wounding hands
see him with eyes of above
meet him where he stands

his voice will then get shaky
you'll hear his heart's true cry
he's telling you he's weary
you hear the reasons why

I believe that love is a seeking for, finding in, digging out and receiving fully. 
I don't know if you can prepare for love or if the gift is always going to be overwhelming.
I know that witnessing love is powerful and knowing love changes you. 
A friend told me this week that being loved is beautifying. Love, itself, is beautiful. 
I am thankful everyday for the love I know and the beauty it teaches me is possible.


I am only a jar of broken, patched-up and dried-out clay.
I am only a body and spirit and light and unique work of the Master Creator.
I am only a woman and a voice and a product of the community that built me.
I am only a daughter and sister and friend and soul.

I am only clean with the application of grace.
I am only free with the acceptance and truth of grace.
I am only joy-filled with the knowledge of grace.
I am only full of awe in the Giver of grace.

Grace. God's saving and undeserved gift of grace. 

Holy (Wedding Day) - The City Harmonic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3oLqAmXc-c

written Nov.11/2012

who believes, and how?
we stand sing; we bow
we learn and lead, we pray
for God's voice to speak today
I stand up and use my gifts
I walk to the edge, I stand on a cliff
I learn and grow; do I walk alone?
I hope for a glimpse, I approach the throne
You gather me with the other sheep
You walk alongside me, you're strong for the weak
You are much greater, You surprise me
You are present to those who believe

written April 23, 2012