January 29, 2009

love, though i'm not worthy

Psalm 8:3 - "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"

There's something magical and unimaginable about growing up knowing that the King of all creation wants to be in relationship with you. At a very young age I accepted the grace God provided that I will never deserve through His Son, Jesus. I accepted the greatest gift with only a very little idea of the great cost only God could provide with His own son's blood.

Growing up I've learned through a bounty of stories and life-journeys filled with kindness and forgiveness from El Shaddai, Almighty God, God who gives life, that my God's love is matchless. I continue to learn about the sacrifice, this grace, my brokenness, my strivings and failings, and my unworthiness more and more as I fall down and am made to rise again. Each day I understand less why God keeps his hand stretched out to me, His arms wide open, His mercy in
sacrifice made free. Though I'm not worthy, He loves me.

Alright - go check out this song. There are a couple parts of this one that resonate with me...

"though i'm not worthy...

"to see your precious face":
1 Corinthians 13:12 - For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

Ha! It's hard to believe sometimes that our reality, where we live and as we breath, ache and soar, is just a warped and broken translation of what was intended. God has prepared so much more for us. We are given a glimpse of God's goodness in His desire to love us, and we can't understand the magnitude of his grace for us that extends so deep, to heal and make new.

"to feel your love":
Isaiah 30:18 - And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]! Wonder of wonders, God moves towards me in my search for Him. He doesn't leave me to figure it out. He 'lifts Himself up', and then shows mercy.

"in your grace I long to stand":
Exodus 2:4-6
4 God saw that he had stopped to look. God called to him from out of the bush, "Moses! Moses!"
He said, "Yes? I'm right here!"
5 God said, "Don't come any closer. Remove your sandals from your feet. You're standing on holy ground."
6 Then he said, "I am the God of your father: The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob."
Moses hid his face, afraid to look at God.

God desires a humble heart, and there's arguably not enough "facedown" worship taking place, but I love the picture of Moses walking towards the bush, sandals off, in reverence and humility, speaking with God. Discussing the next steps. God welcomes us to that place of community with Him.

It's crazy that God's grace far surpasses what would be expected of even a very kind job supervisor or best friend, except with God we're talking 'in-charge of-everything-has-every-right-to-give-up-on-me" when I fail, when I grieve him. It's bountiful. It's complete.

I'm not worthy.

'Though I'm Not Worthy'
Lyrics by: Curtis Stephan, sung by: Kari Jobe

though I'm not worthy
to see your precious face
i bow before thee
pour out your holy Grace
for you alone can wash my sin
and cleanse my soul so deep within

heal me, wash me in your mercy
mend these broken pieces of my heart
love me, though i am not worthy
cleanse my soul and make me whole again
only say the word and i shall be healed

though I'm not worthy
in your grace i love to stand
and bow before thee
stretch out your healing hand
for you alone can purify
and heal these wounds so deep inside

I'm not worthyto feel your love oh Lord
I bow before thee
my Saviour, be adored
for you alone break hardened hearts
and bid old bitterness depart


Jeremiah 31:3&4 - "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built... Again you shall adorn yourself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of the merrymakers."