why are you striving these days?

i believe you're my healer

so faithful, so constant

k, for this one - make sure you listen to the actual song. click on the title.


i often only think in terms of my specific circumstance. you might say i suffer from a serious case of tunnel vision. i am bound, as we all are, for this time to an imperfect context. my spirit's innocence to unabashedly encounter God's love is clouded and tainted by all my 21 years of living as a broken, near-sighted individual. i often don't consider that the love offered in Jesus isn't overwhelmed by the same rules or boundaries or context in which i exist. i can't wrap my head around it, really. i'm in awe, and i'm thankful that Jesus' love, which is freely given, and frees. it's an empowering love.

Jesus lived the message of his love as he broke some "rules" society had in place. Jesus went out of his way to show that he came to love us. there are many examples...

Jesus welcomed children, and told the disciples not to barricade them from coming into his presence. I imagine they just wanted to run right up and sit on his knee, be as close as they could possibly get to 'the action' as he told stories about seeds and weeds. I imagine if my desire was to be as close to Him as those kids wanted to be, I would know better the safety and rest of his welcoming arms.

Matthew 19:14 "Leave the children alone! Allow the little ones to come to Me, and do not forbid or restrain or hinder them, for of such [as these] is the kingdom of heaven composed."

Jesus also made it abundantly clear while on earth that he had come to love, heal and save those who had no hope, those who needed healing, justice and mercy. Simon Peter, Jesus' little rock, who denied knowing Jesus three times needed Jesus' abounding grace (Matt. 26:75). The woman who loved much was forgiven much (Mark 14). Zaccheus, the tax collector, needed to repent and repay to know new life (Luke 19). Thomas, though he doubted, believed was saved from his unbelief (John 20). The blind would see, and the lame walked (John 9:25; Mark 2:9). Those who had been cast out with leprosy joined society anew (Matt. 8:2-3). Another woman reached out to Jesus and in her faith, was healed of her bleeding (Luke 8:48). We need love, and it has been supplied in great abundance through Jesus death and life so that God can love us.

His love is powerful enough to 'eclipse our afflictions' with His its glory. He is complete love. He has shown all-encompassing, over-flowing, gracious, merciful, freeing love. He doesn't forget, doesn't need to ask for forgiveness, doesn't fail, and won't quit. There's hope and matchless beauty in the restorative way He loves us. Marvel in it. Enjoy it.

The powerful reminder that we're "drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes" reminds me that it's with grace and love that we are to introduce others to Jesus' love. We, all of us (not ONE excluded!), are not going to be strong enough for ocean of grace He pours over us... if we face it, we're going to sink in it's overwhelming power! (Something not too awful to be 'caught up' in!)

Like me, you probably don't need to be told to 'brace yourself'. I think many of us live in a sufficiently "braced" state. As you take it in, let the message of this Love be the agent of grace that loosens those binds and calls you from out of whatever has kept you alone, hiding.

You're accepted. You're welcomed in. You're loved. You're beautiful. You're free.

-----------------------------------------------------

Deutoronomy 4:24 "For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."

1 Corinthians 13:10 "... but when Perfection comes, the imperfect disappears..."

1 John 4:10 "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

-----------------------------------------------------

How He Loves Us - Kim Walker

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight
of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so...

Yeah, He loves us, oh,
How He loves us, oh
How He loves us, oh,
How He loves

We are His portion
And He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

He loves us, oh,
How He loves us, oh
How He loves us, oh,
How He loves

----------------------------------------------------------

* my favourite line is: 'So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss'. God has gone to far more ridiculous, real, and tangible measures to make His love known to us!!

"This is how we know what love is, Jesus Christ laid down His life for us." 1 John 3:16

Easter's beautiful. One weekend is such a journey: from the great sacrifice and message of Jesus' blood to 'He is Risen! He is Risen, indeed!' and celebration on Sunday/Monday! I have been reminded this weekend of the fact that God's offer of rescue was not a secret plan that would provide a way for me to reciprocate the same love God has shown me. His plan was for a 'forever' kind of relationship. He has always been interested in reaching out to me.

1 Corinthians 15:3-4: I passed on to you what was most important and what had also been passed on to me. Christ died for our sins, just as the Scriptures said. He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said.

Love came down and bridged the gap for those who believe, receive and accept the gift of the cross. First, God created me for relationship with Him, then, Jesus came to live an example in a life of perfection and death in my place so my sins could be wiped out. Over and over, I forget what the cost was for Love to come down and reach me.

I can't keep up with that kind of love. He's perfect, and so is how he loves me. I can never wander out too far. I can never be outside the realm of His love. Today I am reminded that I am protected, pursued and profoundly loved.

1. 'all for love a Father gave'
John 3:16 "God loved the world so very, very much that he gave his only Son. Because he did that, everyone who believes in him will not lose his life, but will live for ever."

2. 'only Love can make a way'
Hebrews 9:26 "Then Christ would have had to suffer many times since the creation of the world. But now he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of himself."
Matthew 26:28 "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

3. 'you forgive if only i ask'
Hebrews 10:15-23 The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:
"This is the covenant I will make with them
after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts,
and I will write them on their minds."
Then he adds:
"Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."
And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
Psalm 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

4. 'all for love a Saviour prayed: "Abba Father, have your way"'
Mark 14: 35-46 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

5. 'the enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold [God] down'
1 Corinthians 15:54-58 Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.


ALL FOR LOVE/SHOUT UNTO GOD (by: Mia Fields)
All for love a Father gave
For only love can make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For Love was crucified

Oh, how many times have i broken Your heart
Still you forgive if only I ask
And how many times have you heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything i need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angels' song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

Oh, how many times have i broken Your heart
Still you forgive if only I ask
And how many times have you heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

All for love a Saviour prayed
"Abba Father have your way,
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw men to You"

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

The enemy has been defeated
Death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of trumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

...............................................................

You are victorious, God. Thank you, Father, for making a way for us to know Your love. how wide, how deep, how high.... how immeasurable... how beautiful... how complete, how wonderful, how lovely, how mighty... is YOUR LOVE. i'm drawn in, i'm overcome. Amen.
...............................................................

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Israel's Joy & Restoration (Zephaniah 3:14-20)
14Shout for joy, O daughter of Zion!
Shout in triumph, O Israel!
Rejoice and exult with all your heart,
O daughter of Jerusalem!
15The LORD has taken away His judgments against you,
He has cleared away your enemies
The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst;
You will fear disaster no more.
16In that day it will be said to Jerusalem:
"Do not be afraid, O Zion;
Do not let your hands fall limp.
17"The LORD your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior
He will exult over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.
18"I will gather those who grieve about the appointed feasts--
They came from you, O Zion;
The reproach of exile is a burden on them.
19"Behold, I am going to deal at that time
With all your oppressors,
I will save the lame
And gather the outcast,
And I will turn their shame into praise and renown
In all the earth.
20"At that time I will bring you in,
Even at the time when I gather you together;
Indeed, I will give you renown and praise
Among all the peoples of the earth,
When I restore your fortunes before your eyes,"
Says the LORD.

The good news is: God is in the business of moving mountains.

We're talkin' the knitty-gritty, dig-down-deep, get-dirty, up-close-and-personal, we're-in-this-together kind of healing. He's interested in restoring joy and providing for all my needs, great and small. I believe that He is able, and He has promised to be faithful as I navigate through the hills and valleys of my hopes, dreams, plans and realities. I guess my "mountains" could be summarized in the ongoing dialogue of obstacles and trials, fears and regrets that have shown up as piles of discouragement and lies that I believe about myself, my circumstance, my past failures and my future plans.

We often need to be saved from the lies we believe. If you were to be 'droppin some eaves' on a conversation between my friend Kate and I, you would be blessed (as I am) to be reminded that as a child of the King, we can proceed with confidence in whatever trials or circumstances, big or small we can "expect to be warmly received". Not only are we received with the compassion of a Saviour, but we are strengthened as we hold on to to Truth that our God, who is a VICTORIOUS warrior, has some elaborate plans for us and is constantly at work in dispelling the lies we cling to and giving life to the dreams, peace and passions He's given us. We can be confident: we have nothing to fear.

Ezekiel 37:26-28 "I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant with them And I will place them and multiply them, and will set My sanctuary in their midst forever. My dwelling place also will be with them; and I will be their God, and they will be My people. And the nations will know that I am the LORD who sanctifies Israel, when My sanctuary is in their midst forever."

Luke 12:32 "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."

I'm glad this next song was written. In the middle of last summer, on a day of rest... at a worship time effectively named "Oasis", I was blessed once again by this song, believing the promise that my Friend, God, Saviour has made it so he can run the business of moving my mountains and providing a way for all of my needs to be met - for no other reason but because of His care, compassion and love for me.

I read this verse today, and was encouraged by the picture of God's outpouring of blessing, according to His plan:

Zechariah 10:1 "Ask rain from the LORD in the season of spring rain, from the LORD who makes the storm clouds, and he will given them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field."

Mighty to work. Mighty to provide. Mighty to love. Mighty to give freely. Mighty to show grace and compassion. Mighty to restore. Mighty to save.


MIGHTY TO SAVE (Hillsong United)

Everyone needs compassion,
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King Jesus


Luke 24:38-39
And he said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have."

Acts 18:9
"Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you..."

I think we all, at one time or another (or all the time), try too hard to be strong. We know we're weak, we know too well how we've failed, we're pretty sure we're not alone in our state of brokenness, but we would still like to at least appear strong. Okay, I do. I like to be in control. When I can't control my surroundings, I like to keep my own emotions under wraps. I do my best not to lose my cool and I don't often cry, not because I am "above" it, but because I'm afraid of not being perceived as strong.

We all cry sometimes. There are different reasons, durations, locations, and surroundings, but the tears do fall, our hearts ache, we need a safe place, we need grace.

2 Samuel 22:7 "In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears."

One of my favourite stories in the bible is of the Prodigal Son, in Luke 15. We're at the part of the story (verse 18) where the son's walking down the road towards the house he abandoned years earlier, planning how he'll tell his dad just how bad he messed up, spending all that money and shaming the family. He's planning on asking to live and work among his father's servants. Meanwhile, way down the road, his dad, who's been watching for him (for years, apparently), is RUNNING towards him. He can't wait to welcome him home. He's been waiting for a sign that his son has turned back towards him. The father reaches him and immediately wraps him with his finest robe and has a feast prepared for his 'welcome home' party. The son had only to come back, and the welcome his father had for him was far greater than he could ever have imagined.

Okay, we don't just cry when we've done something wrong, sometimes it's because someone has hurt us. Other times we may be tired of waiting, we find ourselves in another frustrating circumstance, anxiety, depression, fear, reservation, loss....

We know when it's time to cry out. You can't hold it in any longer. Right now? God's listening. He's waiting. He's watching for you to walk back down the road. He'll meet you were you are. He's faithful.

Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry"

This song is so beautiful. The history and meaning behind the names we can use to cry to God help paint a picture of God's faithfulness and attributes. Reminds me of who's in control of things when I lose control.

El Shaddai
The name then refers to the pre-Mosaic patriarchal understanding of deity as "God who is sufficient." God is sufficient, that is, to supply all of one's needs, and therefore by derivation "almighty". root meaning - "Almighty". Name of God used by Abraham, Jacob and Isaac. Connected to the notion of God's fertility, provision and blessings of the human race. Also, connected to Hebrew word Dai meaning "sufficient, enough, sufficiency".

Adonai - "my lord"
Psalm 3:4 "To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah"
NOTE: Selah means something like "stop and listen". I think sometimes we cry and then hurry back into our lives - make sure things stay 'normal'. Next time you cry out to God, stop and listen.God responds when we cry to Him. He hears the cries of the weak. Those who surrender their pride and bow before the heavenly throne of grace.

Jesus Christ
When I think of Jesus in the context of crying, I think of 2 different stories. The first is when Jesus mourns the death of Lazarus, his friend, in John chapter 11. To me, this story is a symbol of the reality of Jesus' suffering as a human being on the earth. The verb in the greek is actually not "wept" but "burst into tears". He lost his cool. A whole bunch of people were standing around grieving and he joined in. He wasn't okay. He knew real suffering. I am comforted by a God who knows suffering.The second story is when Jesus is in the garden of Gethsemane when He if there's a chance that "this cup" (the task of dying on the cross for my sins) be removed from him - and he then CHOSES suffering to free me from mine. In Jesus is a beautiful picture of "crying out" to God.

Abba, Father - "daddy"
Romans 8:15&16 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (or adoption). And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
I like the idea of a perfect world where all dads love sacrificially in a way that their children are certain that they are wholly loved, respected, safe and completely provided for. That's our heavenly dad. For all our needs, when we cry out, like the father of the prodigal son, He welcomes us home.


WE CRY OUT - Gateway Worship

Father of Life, seated on your throne of grace
It's only by Your mercy we are saved
Lord, you have said, if we call upon Your Name
We and our families will be saved

So we cry out Your name
El shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on your grace
Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

Father of Love, never failing to forgive
Each moment is a gift from You to live
We're only here to tell the world about your grace
Until the day you take us all away

We will cry out Your name
El shaddai, God of grace
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ
We rely on your grace
Adonai, crowned in praise
Lord Most High, Jesus Christ

Abba, Father. Adonai, El Shaddai.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

There's something sacred about "home" to me.
Home base confirms i'm SAFE and my striving can stop.
Even the idea of being 'home free' is a sure-fire recipe for a hearty sigh of relief.
When i feel at home, I'm at rest. It rest assured that 'home' is around even when I'm not.
The foundation is sturdy and strong - rooted in friendships, honesty and grace.

I live in my parents house in Montreal for most of the year. I love my family and have grown in respect for the members within this house throughout my 21 years. Part of me is home here, with them. I can feel safe with them, be myself - no matter what. For the rest of the year, I live in a quaint cabin beside a basketball court in a place where 'combo-packs' and candy are valid currency. There, with friends who I admire and learn from everyday that we're together, I have a second home. Home is also the table that joins two friends meeting to hear eachother out after a falling out. We were MADE for that kind of 'home'-ness. It's called community!

Sometimes it's really not that comfy. Am I right? People move, people hurt, people forget, people leave and not least, people let you down. They may have their reasons, you may have your regrets, and their may be some brokenness. Home base is cracked. Home free is tampered with. It hurts, but is it lost? Where did 'home' start? Where did "safe and sound" take off? Well, with the God of the nation of Israel. His name was so holy that they didn't even spell it all the way out. They left out the vowels: Y-H-W-H.

Genesis 49:
24 But his bow remained steady,
his strong arms stayed limber,
because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob,
because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,
25 because of your father's God, who helps you,
because of the Almighty, who blesses you
with blessings of the heavens above,
blessings of the deep that lies below,
blessings of the breast and womb.

You are steadied by the hand of the Mighty One. Don't you love that motherly imagery - a womb! Talk about protection. You're safe. He's faithful, and you can have real freedom in Him. Rest! Be real - don't leave anything out. Get to know this freedom, this resting place, this foundation. Be at home.


Yesterday, Today & Forever (Vicky Beeching)

Everlasting God, the years go by but you're unchanging
In this fragile world, You are the only firm Foundation
Always loving, always true,
Always merciful and good, so good

Yesterday, Today and Forever
You are the same You never change
Yesterday, Today and Forever
You are faithful
We will trust in You

Uncreated One, You have no end and no beginning
Earthly powers fade but there is no end to Your Kingdom
Always loving, always true,
Always merciful and good, so good

Yahweh, God unchanging
Yahweh, firm foundation
Yahweh, God unchanging
Yahweh, firm foundation

okay, so let's all keep in mind... for this to be enjoyable, it's important to listen to the songs i talk about in the blog. it's kind of the point. I want you to enjoy them and react too! okay, great.

so, Montreal's a cold place, and the closest I've been to being completely "swept off my feet" recently was when I was almost laid out by a sheet of ice hurrying towards my afternoon class last Thursday. That's a bad feeling. Even among the many other ways I can think of being 'swept away', they always seem to involve losing control or being completely overwhelmed. One minute, you're swimming and suddenly you're caught in rapids pulling you downstream? Swept away. No control.

One of the greatest stories in the Bible, in my opinion, is when King David brings the ark back to Israel, and he was swept away in worship for God. In second Samuel 6:5&16 it says, "David and the whole house of Israel were celebrating with all their might before the LORD, with songs and with harps, lyres, tambourines, sistrums and cymbals... and David... danced before the Lord with all his might." What a great picture. Uncalculated, unprepared, unabashed, full-body worship. No rules or boundaries. David even gets reprimanded, and he says "I'll become even more ndignified than this..." in verse 22. There would be nothing stopping him from the overwhelming joy and praise he wanted to bring before His God. How exciting.

I was talking to a friend this week about the rules that are imposed on us, as well as the ones we impose on ourselves to keep us from being 'swept away'. It's a way we choose to control ourselves and our surroundings. We want to be comfortable by sticking to these rules, we
choose to "keep it under control" for the sake of our reputations, image, or whatever we find important. The thing that I would argue is broken in our use of a rule-based ethic is that it can overpower our belief that God wants to change us from the inside out with his perfect Love.

When we think of Jesus' love and grace given so freely, we can accept Him as the only agent of true freedom, creativity, satisfaction, brokenness, and real beauty in our lives. The truth that God loves me and created me to love Him is overwhelming and beautiful, freeing and lovely.

What is it about God that overwhelms you? When's the last time you were swept away in the truth of His love for you? What rules are keeping you from being totally immersed in His freedom? The love story of our Saviour is enough to catch anyone off guard. Don't be afraid to be loved by the One who came to love you.

John 10:9-11
"I am the Door; anyone who enters in through Me will be saved (will live). He will come in and he will go out [freely], and will find pasture. The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destrip. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd risks and lays down His [own] life for the sheep.


'Sweep Me Away' - Kari Jobe (new CD: kari jobe - not on youtube, sorry)

Father, I love Your ways.
You came in Your mercy, and died in my place.
All I can do is bow, because of Your goodness
and Your sovereign grace, that You...

Sweep me away. Sweep me away in Your love where nothing else matters.

Tears rolling down my face,
because of Your love and Your sweet embrace.
The peace that just overflows... it's here that I know
You have been waiting to...

Sweep me away. Sweep me away in Your love where nothing else matters.

Your grace, it covers me. Your love, it covers me. O God, You cover me.

Psalm 8:3 - "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"

There's something magical and unimaginable about growing up knowing that the King of all creation wants to be in relationship with you. At a very young age I accepted the grace God provided that I will never deserve through His Son, Jesus. I accepted the greatest gift with only a very little idea of the great cost only God could provide with His own son's blood.

Growing up I've learned through a bounty of stories and life-journeys filled with kindness and forgiveness from El Shaddai, Almighty God, God who gives life, that my God's love is matchless. I continue to learn about the sacrifice, this grace, my brokenness, my strivings and failings, and my unworthiness more and more as I fall down and am made to rise again. Each day I understand less why God keeps his hand stretched out to me, His arms wide open, His mercy in
sacrifice made free. Though I'm not worthy, He loves me.

Alright - go check out this song. There are a couple parts of this one that resonate with me...

"though i'm not worthy...

"to see your precious face":
1 Corinthians 13:12 - For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

Ha! It's hard to believe sometimes that our reality, where we live and as we breath, ache and soar, is just a warped and broken translation of what was intended. God has prepared so much more for us. We are given a glimpse of God's goodness in His desire to love us, and we can't understand the magnitude of his grace for us that extends so deep, to heal and make new.

"to feel your love":
Isaiah 30:18 - And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]! Wonder of wonders, God moves towards me in my search for Him. He doesn't leave me to figure it out. He 'lifts Himself up', and then shows mercy.

"in your grace I long to stand":
Exodus 2:4-6
4 God saw that he had stopped to look. God called to him from out of the bush, "Moses! Moses!"
He said, "Yes? I'm right here!"
5 God said, "Don't come any closer. Remove your sandals from your feet. You're standing on holy ground."
6 Then he said, "I am the God of your father: The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob."
Moses hid his face, afraid to look at God.

God desires a humble heart, and there's arguably not enough "facedown" worship taking place, but I love the picture of Moses walking towards the bush, sandals off, in reverence and humility, speaking with God. Discussing the next steps. God welcomes us to that place of community with Him.

It's crazy that God's grace far surpasses what would be expected of even a very kind job supervisor or best friend, except with God we're talking 'in-charge of-everything-has-every-right-to-give-up-on-me" when I fail, when I grieve him. It's bountiful. It's complete.

I'm not worthy.


'Though I'm Not Worthy'
Lyrics by: Curtis Stephan, sung by: Kari Jobe

though I'm not worthy
to see your precious face
i bow before thee
pour out your holy Grace
for you alone can wash my sin
and cleanse my soul so deep within

heal me, wash me in your mercy
mend these broken pieces of my heart
love me, though i am not worthy
cleanse my soul and make me whole again
only say the word and i shall be healed

though I'm not worthy
in your grace i love to stand
and bow before thee
stretch out your healing hand
for you alone can purify
and heal these wounds so deep inside

I'm not worthyto feel your love oh Lord
I bow before thee
my Saviour, be adored
for you alone break hardened hearts
and bid old bitterness depart

----------------------------------------------

Jeremiah 31:3&4 - "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built... Again you shall adorn yourself with tambourines and shall go forth in the dance of the merrymakers."